Basically depression runs in my family and as a symptom I didn’t experience attraction until I started treatment about three years ago. I feel like I have missed out on a lot of experiences and now I am navigating dating in my twenties with the experience and emotional intelligence of a middle schooler and I don’t know how to catch up fast.
In case it might be relevant I also had a situationship with a girl a couple years ago, but nothing serious and nothing physical.
My issue is with this guy I am currently interested in (21M) who I work with. He has a long distance girlfriend of two years, although my friends and I get the vibe they might break up soon. I don’t like her but I’m obviously not a homewrecker. This is my first experience dealing with feelings for someone that wouldn’t just go away when I want them to. I also don’t know if I want them to go away or not. I really just have no idea what an experienced person would do to prevent stress and continue working well in this situation. My feelings definitely effect our work, sometimes good and sometimes bad, because we are partnered together for most projects.
We have worked together for just over a year but it feels like I have known him for a long time. Sometimes it feels like we are dating, but then I get harsh reminders that we aren’t and it’s just weird feelings I am getting. I would normally assume feelings like these are mutual, but he’s not single so i don’t know if they are and he is suppressing them on his end or if I am becoming delusional. I have had experiences like this in the past with other people, and it turned out I was always on the same page as them. Also, we have gone through phases in the past where he has done things some girls would consider cheating (like texting me until late at night or everyday) but I didn’t question it at the time. Lately we have been talking a lot less, and since I kinda let him become my best friend this is upsetting me. It doesn’t feel like he is trying not to talk to me or doesn’t like me. It feels like there is an awkwardness getting in the way now.
I just want a good working relationship (and friendship with him if possible) and to stop thinking about him all the time. I really respect him as a person and I am definitely willing to be “just friends”. I just don’t know how to be normal after I have thought about us so much.
TLDR: I have a very normal crush on my taken coworker but I have absolutely no idea how most people my age would navigate this situation.
1 comment
You cool the friendship until you no longer have a crush on him