How often is the sex

30 comments

1. Yes it’s normal.

2. I’ve read in a study that the bare minimum is once a week for relationships that lasted long, idk of all couples are the same tho it may differ from person to person

3. Yeah it’s normal. Kids are exhausting and take up all of your time and mental capacity. Little kids aren’t for a weak marriage. Why not try and plan a get away. It could be as simple as a weekend at a hotel in town. Getting out of the house and away from the kids helps a lot. Reconnect in other ways, date nights, planned “early bed times” for the kids to watch a movie and snuggle. It takes work and planning and effort when you have small children. Spur of the moment or even springing it on your partner isn’t always available anymore.

4. 1-3 times a week. and this is not normal. people say this is normal have settled in their relationships and stopped trying

5. ryou both sound like your stuck in a routine that’s what happens when you have kids that’s normal but the thing about being married is keeping the spark and relationship alive. If possible get a baby sitter or send your kids to your parents house. Have a day where it’s just you and him. I recommend both of you write things down on what you would like to improve in the marriage. Complement each other caress her and say your thankful for her and you appreciate her this will go a long way. Also I recommend bubble bath what I did for my wife is set up rose petals candles romantic music and just had a bath with her and she loved it. Tease each other.
   Go out on dates.

6. Two to three times a week for us. 9, 7, and 5 year old. It was pretty rare for us when the kids were younger though. Rare defined as 1-2 times a month.

7. About 1.5 a week on average with one bj every 1.25 years…

8. It’s normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s a foregone conclusion.

   We got married at 20 and 21 and had a kid after 11 months. We’ve had 3 kids now, 10 years married.

   Post pardum it sometimes took some mental effort on one or both of our parts to get back in rhythm, but it’s an important part of our relationship that we want to prioritize so we’ve always put in the work.

   Even with a newborn and 18 month old, we never went more than 2 weeks without some kind of sexual session. We averaged 2-4x per week through kid years, and have been roughly daily since the youngest turned 5.

   Make it a priority. Don’t just give up. If you can hold onto it through kid years, it will be great when they’re a little older and require less attention.

9. 3 kids-twice a week. Wish it were more.

10. [deleted]

11. It’s been 8 months. We’re in our early 40’s. She told me on my birthday 3 years ago that she’s never enjoyed having sex. Been together for 14 years married for 10. I recently asked her why she would not tell me before we got married that she didn’t enjoy sex. Her answer was “why so I could not have kids or get married”. I think my marriage is doomed….thoughts??

12. Never stop flirting. I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old and everyday, if we don’t have sex we would just cuddle. We never end the day without having skin to skin. My husband does have a high libido and I am Also not backing down. We do it every day sometimes 2 or 3 depending on the day. If I didn’t get my tubes tied I would probably have 20 kids. I love the fact that he seeks me. What I am saying is, it’s not wrong in asking him to hang out with you even just for an hour a day. (Cuddle, kiss, sex) whatever you guys want to do.
    We’ve been together for 13 years and married 6 years. We’re still going strong . 😭

13. I have a 2 year old, and my SO and I are about 2-3 times a month. I think it’s pretty normal. I’m there are a lot of people in the world – married, single, childless, parents – who aren’t getting laid at all so you shouldn’t feel bad. If you want more, try to be as fuckable as possible in body, mind, and spirit.

14. Sadly its now considered the new norm. It shouldn’t be. A husband and wife were a couple in love before the child and should still be couple afterwards. We have to ensure we are as attentive to our needs together, and that inturn will make us better parents, because it promotes harmony within the home. Talk with your wife and explain that without the connection emotionally and physically you will surely start to drift apart and start just coasting.

15. Married 6, together for 10, have a toddler here. Sex is about once every couple of months.

16. With two kids 7 and 2 by putting them early in bed it’s almost every night!

17. I’m a bit fuzzy on my math but something like twice in five years for us. For a long while i couldn’t contemplate sex after dealing with all the stresses

18. My husband and I have two children, we have sex in what I consider phases. Typically, if we’re communicating well, balancing responsibilities between the two of us, and are generally happy we have sex 5/6 nights a week.

    I’m not talking like, 30 minutes long sex or anything. Both of us have an orgasm and we hit the sack.

    When things are not great, it’s typically once a week.

    I’m only commenting this to say that it’s not unrealistic for you want more connection with your partner, if you have a high libido and are initiating with your partner and they’re too tired, over worked, touched out. Maybe you can discuss some options to help balance that between the two of you.

19. Shouldn’t be normal. But I’m a 48 year old mom of 3 who’s never had a low libido.

    Definitely ebb and flows of finding time to stay connected when life gets in the way, but not due to low libido

20. We went from like 6-7x/wk to 1, then after a while 2, then 3, then we’d have another kid. After the youngest (3rd) made it out of the toddler stage we went to three then hopped up to 5x for about 3-4 years. Then health issues brought it back down but it’s coming back as those get resolved.

21. I’ve been married for 21 years and 4 kids. It definitely has its ups and downs. It’s very normal. For us it never lasted long though. With small kids sometimes I just couldn’t have another person touch me or need me for anything. I guess just talk to her. Maybe she needs something from you. Could be very simple. Once you both meet in the middle, maybe everyone will be happy.

22. 2 times a month with little kids is not dead. My husband and I are probably at about that frequency, 2-3 times a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. We are both happy with that frequency because we are fucking EXHAUSTED with 2 and 4 year old, life stuff, etc. I will say though that when we “do it” we REALLY DO IT. It’s a whole hour or two session. We like to put a blanket on the floor in the living room, put on a relaxing 4K ambience scene from YouTube on TV (like a beach or campfire), candles, sexy music, some little drinkies, have a chat, lots of foreplay and kissing, sex, cuddles and chats after, lots of giggling. It’s quality over quantity for us in this season of life and that’s okay.

23. Yeah that’s probably normal with young kids. They pretty much wreck your sex life. 15 years after having kids and we’re almost back to once a week

24. I have two kids and I’m on day 7 in a row with sex lol because my oldest (4) is in preschool and the youngest is 2 .. we always find time.. she is SAHM I work long hours but life is good right now. And I wouldn’t be upset if it got like 1-2x a week it is what it is

25. Sex daily with a few exceptions.
    Married 23 years, 5 kids. It’s always been like this for us.

26. Listen we’re 21 and we don’t have kids, and it’s like twice MAYBE 3 times a month. But we have a really great marriage. I’m definitely no expert and again, I don’t have kids but I do know for a fact that what you’re going through is totally normal, albeit unfortunate….believe me I know.
    At some point you have to put in work to keep the sexual aspect alive. Just like with romance. I’m still learning how to navigate this as well, and it’s hard but it’s gotten easier. My wife has the lowest libido you can genetically achieve, but after a year or 2 I’ve come to a good understanding, and I’ve become more open with what I need from her (More like what I want from her, no matter how much I feel like I need it- what I really need is her to make me feel wanted- I don’t “need” sex all the time) and so has she. I know it’s probably different once a child is involved, but I think the whole idea is still the same.
    I’m not sure of your gender, or what your current position in all of this is, but my humble advice (from a 21 year old child lol) is: just make sure the physical affection doesn’t die. Make sure your spouse feels heard, and more importantly in this case, SEEN. This does not mean sex will go back to how it was in the first year. This is a new chapter, and things will be a little different. Just keep the affection alive however you can!

    And I swear, I’m not a 21 year old kid preaching at people who are probably much older and have been in this for much longer lol, I’m very much talking to remind myself as well. I know what this is like and I know how hard it can be.

27. Once every 3-4 days.

    Been married for 13 years.

28. Before kids, it was 3-4 times per week. After kids, it was 3-4 times per year. Now that kids are grown, it’s 1- 2 times per week.

29. No it’s not! Make time for each other is a choice. I’m been married for 16 years now and we still have sex very other day or the max is 3 days.

    If you guys are too tired for sex either of you are not helping each other with the kids or task at home. The biggest thing is to have all kids in bed at the same time. Bed times at 7:30 pm if they are toddlers.. 8:30 if their are in elementary school and 9:30 pm if their are in high school.

    Marriage is not the end of sex life!!! That’s a lie!!

30. Have two kids, 4 and 1 … after first kid slowed down sex, after second pretty much dead..
    However recently got back in, it is hard, we do at night time and we went on like 2 week straight everyday lol .. and I def have lost my mojo for sure.

    Got to make it a priority too and frankly it’s hard to be spontaneous so it has to be on a scheduled basis which is hard, but yeah. Often we are in the mood but we just can’t do it lol