I’m (f29) so tired of watching all of my friends find a partner and build a life with them while I’m always alone. I have never been in a relationship and longest dating has lasted 4 months.
All the guys I have dated have said I’m nice and wanted to stay friends with me. They just haven’t been feeling being more than friends. They have made me feel like there isn’t any problems in me but they haven’t developed feelings and don’t see it happening.
I have moved in a new little city two months ago because of work and I don’t have any friends there.
I have always been more or less lonely and I don’t even have siblings. I’m really worried that I will end up being alone the rest of my life and I’m not sure how will I cope with it…
11 comments
Hello
Are you there
Maybe the type of guys you want for a relationship aren’t suited to you?
I’m guessing you are looking in the 32~38 bracket? tall, good looking, fit guys? more often than not, these guys have options and because of that aren’t really looking for something serious.
Don’t lose your hope. If you start to believe you’re not deserving you will probably start to act like it. Try to focus on something else.
As someone who was chronically alone for a long time, I’ll say this: find a hobby or six. Go to the gym. Improve yourself mentally.
I’m no stranger to feeling lonely and behind and quite frankly, OLD and social media really exacerbate those issues for me (Because people online are F A K E).
Ask your friends to set you up with a guy they know. It almost never works, but it’ll help you knock the rust off.
I feel you. Honestly, ending up alone is the biggest fear for a lot of people. So the advice today is quite short:
1. Take solitude in the fact that you’re not the only one feeling like this
2. Start making an effort to consistently get around new people. This is important and necessary even if you would find the love of your life this afternoon.
Make new friends in your new city and go on adventures with them. It doesn’t hurt to let them know you’re single along the way so they can look out for you.
Do some hobbies and take the focus off meeting ‘the one’ and just meet some people. Sports can be good and things like that or educational. It is really tough out there and a lot of people are finding it difficult.
Improve yourself. Exercise. Learn new skills. Go out on dates with yourself. Talk to everyone you meet with no expectations.
Never lose hope. But take this time to become whole and confident within youraelf. If relationships don’t last, take the time to assess why. If it is something you can’t control, then take it as for the best and happily move on. If it is for something that may be due to a vice, then use this opportunity to correct or grow in knowledge of why you do or act in a way that may be unattractive. Look up attachment styles. My attachment style was anxious attachment and as a result I was super clingy and chased women away because in my desire to have someone fill the void in my life I would force a relationship and ignore clear warning signs they were bad and toxic from the get-go. In the end, nothing can fill a void in your life. You need to be balanced within yourself and then, in abundance, enjoy what another may offer. As equals and not as a person’s therapist or their patient.
Take time to heal, enjoy your hobbies and friends, and see where life takes you. Good luck!
You are not even half way thru life, you are still young. Many experiences to live and many people to meet. Dont cut yourself short, Someway somehow everything works out in the end.
Date older the young guys are having a hard time growing up.