I moved into my apartment in December with my boyfriend. We had our baby in the beginning of March. The only other person who was staying with us during that time was my mom to help out with the baby. In June, 3 of my sister (plus my oldest sister’s 2 young children) were put out of their place due to them not paying. Originally only one of them moved in and I was told it was going to be for a couple of weeks until they were able to move again. About a month went by and the older sister, with kids, asked to stay for a couple of weeks as well.
Well it has now been a few months and there seems to be no plan for anyone to move. I’m trying to be understanding about the situation and not put everyone out and on the street but I’m slowly losing my mind. My oldest sister doesn’t watch her children, they eat all the groceries that I buy, and there is so much stuff everywhere I feel smothered. I’m not even able to have a play area for my daughter because they have all of their things all over the house.
I don’t want them to be homeless but I’m losing my sanity. I have always had a hard time with confrontation so I don’t really know what to say. Any help would be appreciated.
24 comments
Give the apartment manager $50 and ask him to tell them they are not allowed to stay as they are not on the lease.
Just tell them they have a month ( or whatever timeframe you think is best) to move out. There’s no need to make a big fuss. Just be loving but firm. You’re in the right here and if they don’t see that, well, then they’re just using you.
Ask your mum for help with this. Is a very very complicated situation.
Are they employed? If they have income, they no longer have an excuse to be living with you. Maybe offer to help them find a new place (with the understanding that they’re going to be the ones paying for it. Don’t want any miscommunication)
It’s just going to get worse. Out they go.
They’re going to keep mooching off you as long as they possibly can. They don’t care how you feel about it. They don’t care about being decent people. They care about not having to take care of themselves, and you’re allowing them to do that.
As long as you are afraid to make them leave, they won’t leave.
That being said, since your boyfriend is there too, can you have him tell them they need to leave in 30 days, and give them a written eviction notice? You still need to back him up, and not give in when your sisters push you to let them stay, but it may be easier if he can be the main force here.
You’re going to have to put your foot down and give them a timeline and then stick to it. Are they even contributing? Maybe call a family meeting set boundaries, chores, food etc.. This probably should have been established earlier. They need to contribute in some form or fashion. At the end of the day you are responsible for your bf and child.
They are adults and need to handle their own affairs.
Tell them that when you agreed to let them stay with you, it was only supposed to be for weeks, not months, and that they need to make arrangements to find somewhere else to live. Give them a firm timeline (30 days/60 days etc) to be out.
I’m sure they will try to ask you to explain why, or try to argue with you. Just hold firm. You don’t need to give them reasons. It’s your home, not theirs, and while you were happy to help them, it’s time for them to go. They are taking advantage of you and will continue to do so as long as you let them.
I hate to go there, but before having that talk with them, do some research on what recourse you have where you live if they refuse to move out.
Sit down and write a letter giving them a month to fins a place. It doesn’t have to go into detail, but just that this isn’t a permanent solution.
Then pick a date and give her the letter.
Some people need a push.
Learn to get tough, cause honey takers are gonna take until you have nothing left.
Good luck
Why would you even take them in knowing they got kicked out for not paying their rent? Clearly they dont care and just want somewhere to stay for free!
I’d make a chore chart for EVERYONE!!
Sisters get big jobs. The niblings can dust and put stuff away and help do laundry.
Start making really blah food and don’t buy anything extra good. Get a lockbox / mini fridge for your room (you will use these in other ways like for holding drinks in a game room) and get a kick and keep your stuff in there.
Oh, they want better food…? Well, each chore gets stars and those stars are worth Opfood points and those points can add up to get special food.
Or you just say, it’s time y’all get out. I am not your mother. You need to adult up and move out.
Be blunt. Who cares about their feelings. It’s not like they care about yours.
Good luck if they have any mail delivered to that address. They can call squatter rights and live there until you properly evict them through the courts. NEVER let someone move in if you’re not FOR SURE.
When does your lease end? Tell them that you are moving and that they need to find a place of their own.
Get eviction notices. They won’t take effect for awhile, and that will give them time to figure things out.
“You all have 3 months to get out. After that I start evicting all of you.”
Look up how eviction works in your state. Start going through the formal eviction process. Say it is 60 days.
” it’s time for you to guys to move on…. i’ve given you enough time to get back on your feet. I need you to be out by the end of month. If so I will give you $500 towards a deposit. “ If they don’t move out, continue with the eviction proceedings
Also start to make it difficult for them … change your Wi-Fi password. Don’t let them eat your food. Move the TV into your room.
You sit then down and say, “I love you, but you need to gtfo and quit mooching off me. You have <XX> number of days to leave “
If you’re renting they need to leave ASAP before you get evicted. Most rental contracts don’t allow guests to stay over a certain number of days.
“You said it would be for some weeks but it’s been months. I can’t house you anymore. This isn’t working for me. You need to be out in two months. Good luck”
Tell them the landlord found out about the living situation and needs the other 2 families to move out within a month or the entire unit is getting evicted. Draw up a letter if you need to. Then you get them to leave without being ‘the bad guy’ and damaging the family relationships further
Serve them a 30 day notice.
What can we say that will make you stop avoiding confrontation? Nothing will change unless YOU change it. Start with giving them a deadline …like 2 weeks. What does your landlord think about all these extra people in the apartment?
Two words, OP:
“HEAVE-HO!”
If I was your boyfriend I would leave you by now. Stand your fucking ground you spineless woman!!! How big is this apartment? How many people living in it? Sounds awful any way you look at it.