Wife wants a divorce but waiting maybe 1 year while (somebody who has no self motivation unless pushed) plans on getting a degree, learning English, getting a job, and studying for Citizenship test. This is a person who is renowned for not following through or completing her stuff. English she is learning because I am pushing her as part of my commitments to help her. She hates Dr. Suess.
She will be here for a prolonged period of time until she is ready to be on her feet. With that in mind, I view whether her mind is made up or not through actions, having fun with the kids, etc. – that I have work to do but I could win her back. I mean she still sleeps in our marital bed when there are other options. My heart says there is hope. Legally we are separated.
Possible or pipe dream?
Thanks.
2 comments
There are two questions you’ve asked here.
Possible or pipedream: you’ve told us about her self-improvement plans, but not about her reasons for wanting a divorce. Without those, I have to idea if she’ll change her mind.
How to win her back: find out what’s wrong – in her eyes – with the relationship, and earnestly try to fix it. But it might be something she can’t forgive, something you can’t undo, something outside your control, etc. Most of all, respect her decisions. If she says she doesn’t want to do x, don’t push until she does x. Don’t beg her repeatedly to take you back. Just ask what needs to change, change your behaviour if possible, and maybe have another conversation about it in 6 months.
What are you talking about? Whatever is going on here, no.