Her ex bf passed away years ago. No one really knows why. His heart just stopped. He would’ve been 20 years old if he was still alive, which is the age my gf and I are now. The anniversary of his death was yesterday. I was not expecting my gf to have sex with me yesterday because we never have sex on that day. However, this time we did end up fucking. She initiated. It was unexpected, but I didn’t complain, not until I realized what prompted my gf to sleep with me. She said she had a video of her ex on her phone. A video of her ex having sex with her. She said watching the video made her want to feel me inside of her. I asked her why she had a video like that. She shrugged and said I had my porn and she had her porn.
I said the thought of her getting off to an intimate video of her ex made me feel uncomfortable. She said both of us got off thanks to the video of her ex, so it was a win win. I was convinced it was the alcohol doing most of the talking because we had been drinking and it was unlike my gf to be so blunt towards me, especially about her late ex. I suggested that we call it a night and talk more in the morning. At the moment it’s mid morning on my side and my gf seems to have no memory of telling me about the video. I’ve been waiting for her to bring it up, but she’s acting as if I know nothing about the video. When I asked her what she remembered, she said everything prior to us getting drunk was a blur. I believed her, even though part of me thinks it’s really convenient that she’s gone Jason Bourne on me all of a sudden.
I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut about the video for now, but I have a feeling it might affect me when my gf and I have sex again. How can I not think about that video and wonder who’s actually on her mind when she’s sleeping with me? Not gonna lie, I want her to delete the video, but I’m not sure if that might be asking too much. I want to be as considerate and as delicate as possible due to the death, but at some point we all have to leave the past where it belongs, right?
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>I was not expecting my gf to have sex with me yesterday because we never have sex on that day.
>Her ex bf passed away years ago.
>He would’ve been 20 years
So you have been together long enough to of not fucked on that date more than once, so that video was recorded before they were 18 years old….. Sure they recorded it themselves but technically she is in possession of child pornography. It’s kind of creepy that she’s 20 years old and watching a teenager version of herself fuck…..
But good luck having that conversation asking her to delete it.
She can hold on to it, it’s a weird memory of her ex but a memory nonetheless. However I would ask her to not watch it while you are with her. It’s about respect and boundaries, you are allowed to ask and she’s allowed to refuse, but if she cares about you she will store it away somewhere and not touch it
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Bruh now even the dead exes ruin relationships.
cmon bro your opp is dead
I mean, the dude is dead, he’s not exactly gonna be trying to steal your girl
Dead or not, this is super weird. I get why she won’t delete videos of their fun trip to Paris, but a sex video is a whole different thing.
Firstly this story is fake. Secondly why the hell would she tell you that she was horny because she was watching a video of herself with her ex boyfriend lmao, nobody would confess that.
Why are people mixing the fact that her ex is dead with her being in a new relationship and getting off with porn of a previous relationship? It’s fucked up regardless of him being dead or not. It has nothing to do with the “threat” of him
Your girlfriend clearly has not gotten over the death of her ex and you should 100% bring up the video now and tell her what she said when she was drunk.
It’s NOT a win-win dude… She’s hung up on her dead ex and you’re just filling a void for her.
>Is it fair to ask my gf to delete the video she has of her sleeping with her ex bf?
More than fair. There is no scenario where this is unfair. Under no circumstance is a secret spank bank allowed if you’re partner is not cool with it.
You can ask her, but she won’t delete it–so then you’ll have to decide how important it is to you. Of course if either of them were under 18 or whatever your local legal age is for such things, you could remind her that she’s carrying around a video that could get her jail time (especially don’t take that phone through customs).
> How can I not think about that video and wonder who’s actually on her mind when she’s sleeping with me?
> I want her to delete the video,
You won’t delete her memories though. She might still be thinking of him whilst having sex with you.
this shit didn’t happen
Wait how old were they in the video? Is she getting off to CP?
Dude ex should be ex. It is not clearly for her. I was in a real relationship where she was mourning her ex for months and guess what… 2 yrs later we’re not together
Break up with her immediately..save yourself more pain later…trust me she is not the woman you should be with.
It doesn’t matter if the dude is dead, she has to watch videos of him fucking her to want to fuck you. Gonna hurt regardless.
Here is the thing about being an adult. Learning how to communicate is the best skill you can develop. Holding this in will not help you or your relationship in the long run. Put on your big boy pants and begin that conversation with her..
IMHO she mustn’t keep such memories at all
(Spoiler Alert) – I saw an episode of Sex and the City, where the widower’s deceased wife was omnipresent in his sex life with other women and was always thinking of the wife when he’s inside these women. It was like a throuple but the other person is invisible. In the end Charlotte felt like the third-wheel and got the hell outta there.
Ask how her she would feel if you had a video of you bending an ex girlfriend over, watched that and then wanted to bend her over whilst thinking about the video.
Lol this sounds like another tupac/ will smith moment with jada……
And you lookin like Will right now…
And it ain’t a good thing…..
-years ago
-he would be 20 if he were still alive
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call the cops on her for CP lol
Personally, if that was me, I wouldn’t let that slide
I think watching porn and watching a sex video made with an ex is very different.
Years ago, and you are now 20?
Tell her to be careful, that’s kiddie porn.
Drunk people speak the truth, and if my girl would tell me she could only get off with her ex on her mind I’d be out. First let her get that shit sorted.
Some people think dating someone else is gonna help them to get over their ex. But please, FIRST get over your ex.
Chucked from the beyond.
That takes talent.
Just fuck her better than he did, record the thing, go to the tomb and play the footage while laughing maniacally, jk jk jk don’t do that. Just tell her how you really feel.
Honestly bro for your own mental health just leave her. No healthy relationships prosper when one person is still hung up on a past lover. Not to mention the double standards, do you think she would be completely fine with you keeping and using a video of you and an ex ? Besides nobody who actually cares about their partner just casually brushes off their concerns about something that makes them uncomfortable. If the situation was flipped the comments would be filled with feminists saying off with your head for the same situation. And if it wasn’t obvious already if you do break up with her, at least tell her why.
Haha i don’t have this problem. My wife never been in any relationship.
Basically I’m her 1st bf ever.
What I’m really concerned about here isn’t really about the video.
Your girlfriend essentially used you like a human dildo to get her rocks off to her ex. That’s incredibly disrespectful to you as her current partner. You clearly didn’t consent to being a part of her porn session. On top of that she had the nerve to say that both of you got off to excuse the whole thing???
Did I read that right?! Dude OP, I’d feel incredibly violated if I were you.