Throw away count for obvious reasons so my 34F boyfriend 35 M says he’s sexually frustrated with me. We have sex at least two times a day every single day. I’m an emotional person and if we have arguments, I don’t feel connected so these last two days we’ve argued a lot, more him arguing about different things and I’m the punching bag. Needless to say, today he asked for oral sex. to be honest I just was not feeling it. I did not feel like we were emotionally connected and I just didn’t want to do it. My mind was thinking “hey later tonight, depending on how the night goes. anyways he got super mad at me and said how he’s frustrated but yet again, we have sex at least twice a day every single day with the off days if we argue and he says this is not OK for him. Is something wrong with me?

32 comments

  1. Twice a day everyday seems really unrealistic. Let him know that you’re emotionally frustrated. Men need physical and women need emotional. Find ways to express that you both need to meet in the middle and figure out each others needs

  2. No. There’s nothing wrong with you and I hate that you would even consider that there is. He’s sexually frustrated if you don’t feel like giving him a bj when you are having sex really really often. That he would ask for a one sided sexual bj and get super mad if you don’t oblige is not okay. It just isn’t. He is coming off like a really self centered jerk.

  4. The only thing wrong here is that you’re having sex you don’t want to have and are being sexually coerced. Which is abuse. So….

  5. NOTHING!! Absolutely nothing. You should never have sex when you don’t want to. Do you enjoy sex twice a day? If you don’t … stop. If he moves on because of that, you will be better off. You can find someone that cherishes you the way that you deserve. Someone who isn’t using you as a punching bag or a sex toy.

  7. No dear, something is wrong with HIM. Why would you you want to have sex with someone amidst an argument just to make them happy? That’s not how consensual sex works.

  9. Hi, OP, I had a bf that was like this that I broke up with recently. Let me tell you that it doesn’t get better. He’s going to find things to argue about that are sex-related, and you’re never going to be in the mood. Then you denying him is going to make him feel justified in constantly pestering you for sex, which is going to continue to not make you want sex.

  10. you either need to set strong boundaries with your boyfriend and get out of this relationship. please have some love and respect for yourself. this is not healthy at all.

    are you having sex times a day because you want to? sex should happen because both people want it to happen. not because one person wants it to. just because you’re in a relationship with someone does not mean you are entitled to their body whenever you want to use. that’s reducing you to nothing more as a sex object or a sex toy even. you’re worth more than that. set boundaries with your partner. encourage him to be more romantic to set you in the mood to have sex. how often do you want to have sex regularly?

    if he won’t respect your boundaries, then clearly he doesn’t respect you. and you need to leave. this situation could get very ugly very fast. please wake up and realize you deserve more. you have one life and you shouldn’t live it in a relationship where you live in fear or are forced to cater to your partner.

    and your arguments as well do not sound healthy at all. treating you as a punching bag? that can quickly lead to abuse. this is not looking good. and him asking to have a bj from you right after he treated you like a punching bag is quite frankly disgusting. why does he think he deserves to put you in that position while treating you terribly? it clearly does not seem like he respects you at all and only is chasing after his own nut.

  11. Oh my gosh no! I don’t just if it’s just women but our sexual drive stems a lot from how we are treated. How does he expect you to be turn on when you are his person punching bag?

  13. As far as sex goes, quality should beat quantity in my opinion. I’d rather have mind blowing earth shattering sex once a week than average sex twice a day. Your boyfriend sounds like he’s abusing you and taking you for granted and it sounds like you don’t really respect yourself so you’re not really going to attract a partner that is going to respect you.

    You need to establish some healthy boundaries that are rooted in self respect before you are going to get what you want from partnership.

    Oral sex should be a two way street and I mostly see it as part of healthy foreplay, not something that is coerced or being forced to be given or taken from one another. You don’t want to be treated like a sex doll? Don’t let anyone treat you like one.

  14. OP, you are not a blow up doll here to service his every sexual need whether he sees fit. People will treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you. Please re-read what you wrote… you deserve better. If he doesn’t respect your need for an emotional connection and just wants a sex toy to pound daily, tell him to go invest in a damn flesh light

  16. Nope, nothing’s wrong with you. The only wrong thing here is that you having or was forced to have sex even if you’re not feeling to do so.

  17. Having sex twice a day every day is honestly wild. How do you even have the energy?

    Anyway, give him some REAL sexual frustration: leave him.

  19. Nothing is wrong with you. You two are simply not compatible.

    He just seems to be a beggar. Hoping that you can meet his needs. It’s fairly disgusting imo. You won’t be able to be fulfilled with someone like this. I’m fairly certain you know what I mean.

    It’s easy to make a compromise, just not sure this is what you want if this is the thing you ask here.

    What do YOU want? Not talking about how you wanna cum. I’m asking you WHO can make you cum. There is a BIG difference.

  20. Wtf. WTF.

    Why do women insist on blaming themselves when their chosen bf treats them like shit?

    Oh right, because they insist on continually choosing the guy over themselves. Do you think he does that for you? Doesn’t sound like he’s pulling his hair out trying to figure out what’s wrong with him since you aren’t horny enough.

    ENOUGH mind you, you are giving him what he wants and it’s not enough.

    Why not just go put little pebbles in all of your shoes since you enjoy discomfort so much

  22. Wait you’re having sex two times a day and he says this? I could understand him being frustrated if it was like once a month or less. He would need to bring it up maturely and nicely, which he clearly isn’t here. But this is actually ridiculous.

    Please do not let yourself be pushed around like this. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.

  23. With you? No. He should not be punishing you for not having sex when you aren’t feeling it. And, just saying, but “at least” twice a day? Wow! That’s certainly on the high end of the spectrum.

  24. Yes, something is wrong with you. Extremely low self-esteem. This sounds like something an inexperienced early 20-something would put up with. Not a grown 34 year old..

  27. Had the same problem with my ex, which is why he’s my ex. He wanted sex all day, every day. I didn’t always feel like it. Especially when I felt a disconnect.

    I agree with the others that you should discuss this with him. Hope you’re able to come to an understanding. If not, then it’s time to end things.

  28. Dont you get infections from that much sex? Or at least very sore? Either way, you are not in the wrong here.

  31. Boyfriend is a wanker and seems like he is pretty much using you as a cum bucket. Nothing wrong with you at all and you should not feel like a punching bag

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