How does it feel if someone can’t smile back at you?

26 comments

1. If you don’t mind me asking, can you elaborate on why you can’t smile?

   It can feel a bit awkward if you smile at someone and they don’t smile back, but it happens. Sometimes I take it as the person being rude but it really depends on the context. You could always try out a different gesture other than smiling if you still want to engage but aren’t able to smile back.

2. You weirdo, stop smiling in situations you shouldn’t be 😂

   You’ll smile when you enjoy your job or your co-workers.

3. Food for thought, not necessarily advice. What makes you think they’re smiling, and not gritting their teeth in the shape of a smile?

   I’ve bent my mouth flaps into an upward shape to mimic the general form of a smile, but I’ve never actually meaningfully smiled at someone in the workplace. lol.

   So, unless you have some form of facial paralysis, or own the business so you can get away with RBF… Crack that fake smile, and give the people a show!

4. My daughter (14) won’t smile at everyone, it’s because she won’t fake them. It’s a boundary she set when she realized people would try to coerce her to smile.

   She smile for real when she genuinely means it.

5. It can feel devastating.

6. I’d be sorta creeped out if “Someone” did smile back at me if I was randomly walking

7. Like a no-touch hug

8. It’s been proven looking at someone who is smiling releases endorphins and other calming hormones for the person receiving the smile. Not being able to smile would come off as cold and/or calculating. Can you at least turn your lips upwards in a somewhat smiley way (lips closed but not pressed together should suffice).

9. Depends on the nuance. If they also struggle to speak up or look me in the eye, I see it as kinda cute. Cause I have anxiety and relate.

   If they talk to everyone else but me, it seems like they have a problem with me or something. If the reason isn’t obvious I make up a stupid reason and just act civil anyway.

10. I would wonder if you’re upset with me but I get not everyone feels like smiling and it’s ok.

    Maybe you could ease any tension by saying something instead, if some smiles at you. Like, “hey how’s it going.”

11. Try nodding instead or just saying hi in a cheerful tone. I don’t worry if people don’t smile back. They’re not obligated to. But if you feel awkward about it a head nod or saying hi could help you feel better about it. Don’t think too hard on it.

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13. A punch in the gut

14. Practice. If you cannot physical smile, let every one know and substitute another gesture that they can look for as a smile (a fist bump, a hand gesture, something)

    Body language is very important. If something is missing, you need a substitute

15. I would think that you didn’t like me or were just an asshole.

16. What do you mean?

17. I have a sitting asshole face even though I’m in a great mood and love everyone around me!! So I deal with this a lot! But I ALWAYS smile or half smile when I lock eyes with somebody unless I’m pissed! Either way a smile goes a long way! However you don’t want to smile all goofy at the gangster guy you see in the store! Keep your fucking eyes to yourself and don’t be locking eyes with people period unless your a : ready to brawl, or b : it’s a girl or an elderly person you want to make feel comfortable! Crazy thing is I worked my whole life to master this frownie face!! Now that I mastered it I wish I looked a bit softer!

18. It’s considered mildly hostile to not smile back; like not extending your hand when someone has extended theirs, or not saying hello after someone has greeted you. But many people have been taught because of their own tragic background, that smiling is wrong. Because, “someone will think you are laughing because someone they loved died…” and that type of tragic nonsense… Then some people are in physical and/or emotional pain. You can’t expect them to be all cheery. I think if you are the non-smiler, you can say to them, that you appreciate them and their friendliness, without going into why you can’t do likewise. If you are on the receiving end, perhaps apologizing in case they found your friendliness inappropriate, might prompt them to explain why – or just assure you that they are ok with your smiles..

19. My granddad slapped me for not saying good morning back to him. He said that it is what makes people function together, that we are nice and respectful even if we don’t feel like it. You never know what people are going through and how it affects them if you do something respectless towards them. Like not saying “hello” back or smiling, nodding, etc.

    It can make the difference between life or death even. Imagine having a terrible day, and someone says “good morning”, it could turn everything around for someone. The other way around, just being the slightest respectless, can make someone do something really crazy. I imagine very few murderers had someone say hello to them or smile at them that day.

    I take time to be nice to people, and so far, it has never turned out to be a bad idea.

    At least in my life, everything I have, all the relative success I have had in my life is dependent on people liking me. It doesn’t matter how good my grades are if I can’t meet people and communicate with them. Communication is so much more than words.

    Maybe you kids are figuring out a way to bypass social skills so you all can be influencerz, I don’t know. Good luck with that.

    For now, “Not being able to smile” is a handicap and you should get help with that.

20. Just think too deep into things.

    I find it easier to think of greetings and smiling as exchange pleasantry. Do it because you feel like it’s a right thing to do rather than expecting a response. Sometimes people are not in a mood or having a bad day, which doesn’t have anything to do with other people who try to smile at them.

21. I dont think its rude.. but everyone can see the misery behind a blank face.

22. I wouldn’t take it personally 🤷‍♀️

23. It’s not that weird to not smile back, just not as friendly as smiling back. Can you like nod at them or something instead? This way you acknowledge their smile, but don’t have to smile back. I know a lot of people that just nod at someone instead of smiling back- especially men who don’t want to come off as creepy

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25. I don’t take it personally at all, I might wonder what is going on with them, if they are struggling or just guarded due to past pain, or don’t find the playful side of life that easily

26. Not rude at all. Now if they attach a greeting, then not returning that might be rude. Smiling isn’t a obligation, it’s a choice.