They would hangout without me, I even live with one of them.. tonight they’re hanging out and haven’t proposed me…
My friend has a local gym membership, and I proposed if I could go there so he could show me. But he said, people would « wonder who’s this » ( about me ) and would gossip and that news goes around fast. But my other friend come into the same place and my friend is going to sign in into the gym membership.
They see eachothers often and only include me in more private events when there is not people to judge.
They like me and talk to me sweetly and help me a lot, but they are simply ashamed of me, while they are cool and proud to hangout with each other. I just feel like my value is low as Im not someone causing trouble but I’m a bit different because I have some coordination disorders and I’m diagnosing for autism so I think my différence make them exclude me.
Im working hard on myself ( educational therapy for example ) but even my family kind me excluded me and kicked me out.
I can feel how my friend I live with is simply ashamed of me, we always talk sweetly, and we get along well because I like to keep things clean and I’m positive, but when it’s about going outside, I feel like they exclude me.
My friends even told me that I am the one excluding myself and in the past if I asked why I wasn’t invited they would say that I wouldn’t have come…
Im unable to create any social relationship, and I really feel completely missunderstood…
Even I can’t seem to find a job because due to my difficulties I’m discriminated although I have a good and polite way to be.
I just want to do plastic surgeries and continue my therapies to be a more accepted person, it’s true that I kind of isolate myself but I want to go out with my friends even in social situations and I want people to be proud to have me but I see a lot of passive rejection. I know the problem comes from me and my manners, but it’s not that easy to be a completely different person