My wife has been going to the gym for a few years now. Initially we were supposed to join as a family but things didn’t work out that way and she ended up joining 1st. She has been a stay at home mom for many years. So the chance to interact with other adults was appealing to her. She attended regularly working out and taking classes to lose some weight.
In the process, she met this trainer named John. As time went on, my wife became familiar with John. He was helping her to reach her physical goals. I was cool with it at first being the supportive husband but I noticed my wife was spending half the day at the gym. I became suspicious of her mainly because I am a jealous man.
Fast forward a few months. I saw a text on my wife’s phone from her cousin which said you have to tell the guy you’re married. When I confronted my wife about the text she told me her and her cousin set me up because she knew I was checking her phone. I didn’t believe her answer. I started pressing her about the guy her cousin was referring to. The discussion got heated. The my wife said out of all the guys in the gym, she want to f_ck John. I was stunned to say the least. I couldn’t respond. My wife has a wreck less mouth when she gets upset. I know this but I never thought she would say something like that to me.
Needless to say, that comment caused me to look at the relationship my wife had with John differently. Our marriage took a hit from that point on. I asked her was there something going on between her and John. She told me no. Nothing ever happened between them and she said what she said out of anger because she wanted to hurt me.I told her to stop attending the gym but she refused. So we compromised. She no longer takes John classes.
Fast forward again. A party was given for another trainer. My wife attended by herself. I didn’t want to go. So It turns out John was at this party as well with his wife. Mind you John wasn’t married when he met my wife. He was engaged. Anyway during the party John approached my wife and asked to take a selfish since my wife was going around and taking pictures with several people at the party. Taking a selfie at a party is expected but it was their position for the selfie that troubled me. John was positioned behind her a little off to the side with her back near his chest and his arm around her waist. In other words they looked too comfortable with each other.
When I asked to see the pictures of the party when she got home, she was hesitant to show me. I found that to be odd. She finally said John was at the party with his wife. I said ok no problem. But it became a problem when I saw the pictures of those two. My wife knows I have an issue with John because of what my wife said about him. By the way, I forgot to mention earlier that my wife follows John on fb and Instagram. I asked her to unfollow him but she refuses. Continuing on, Iasked my wife to erase those pictures she took with John but she refuses.
Currently I haven’t really been speaking to my wife for a couple of days because this situation. Am I wrong?
Honest is much appreciated.
4 comments
The word “unacceptable” is overused. People say something is “unacceptable” even though they are clearly accepting it.
You are accepting your wife’s behavior because your wife is confident you *will* accept it.
Another gym trainer and someone’s wife. JFC who needs to spend half a day at the Gym. YeH bud your wife has a thing for this guy and she doesnt seem to care that you know. In fact she seems to to rubbing your face in it. On a side note WTF wouldn’t you go to that party if you suspected John would be there?
UpdateMe
Update me too….you say you’re a jealous man but you’re being way too okay with this so I am doubtful and you should be upset regardless. Your wife is crossing boundaries so stop acting like she is not. Good luck to you.
Trust your gut!