Long story short, so I will meet him occasionally at functions, house party, we do have a connection but I never expressed my interest towards him. But last week, we reconnected and we out for drinks, and smoked weed, and he went home at 4am
Now I can’t stop thinking about him. Oh wait, he is also getting married in a few months time, but all he did was complain about his parents forcing him into marriage. I mean, I know I should stop seeing him, but hey he was my long time crush. The 18 year old me would be really proud of me now for even hanging out one on one with him 😅
So the next time I’m seeing him, am I allowed to kiss him? Also maybe have sex?
3 comments
Tough one…. was he just saying the things about marriage to get in your pants or was he being genuine?
Cheating is never ideal, but flirting and a little kiss isn’t horrible, but i wouldn’t progress to sex until he figures his engagement out. If you really feel strongly about him – let him know and then the ball is in his court
When you have a fiancée, would you want him hanging out with some chick and fucking her while you’re planning your wedding?
> he is also getting married in a few months time, but all he did was complain about his parents forcing him into marriage
Are you *allowed* to kiss him, or have sex? Sure. But to what end?
This just seems like it’s mostly about *your* ego. You seem to think that if you can get him to physically engage with you, it validates that you *are* in his league, but I don’t think it even does *that*. Most men are willing to have casual sex with people who demonstrate a willingness and availability to have sex with them, because most men would rather have more sex, with more partners, than they’re currently having.
If you demonstrate to him that you’re available and interested, there’s a good chance he will take you up on it, but at the end of the day, he still didn’t date you in college. He’s still going to choose what his parents and their cultural community want for him, over you, in the near future. If it’s *good sex*, it makes it even worse, because then you’re going to regret the prior course of your life, and create the temptation for yourself to ruin his marriage, harming his future wife.
I guess if this validation is really super important to you, you can indulge yourself, but it seems needlessly over-complicated to have sex with a guy who you *know* is completely unavailable to you, basically just because you’re insecure (as if him choosing someone *else* over you in a few months isn’t also going to make you insecure). You could spend the time you’re going to invest being hung-up on him trying to create a better relationship with someone who could actually play a positive role in your future.
Would the 18 year-old you *really* be proud that you’re considering banging an engaged man you had a crush on in college, in your 30s? Just my 2 cents.