As the title says my BF (31M) is having issues maintaining an erection during PIV. He can get one during foreplay but as soon as he puts it inside it goes flaccid. He’s tried viagra (50mg) with some mixed results. He says he’ll go to go to the GP in the next couple of weeks but part of me now thinks its mental and a bit of embarrassment that he can’t keep it up. Does anyone have any advice of things I can do/say to help him? Especially if it’s more mental than physical as I think the shame and embarrassment is making the medication useless. I HAVE IN NO WAY MADE ANY REMARKS TO MAKE HIM FEEL EMBARRASSED but I know he’s feeling it even with my support.
Point to add:
No money worries, work stress or family/friend drama stressing him out
16 comments
Try a cock ring
Ill ask the obvious….does he watch a lot of porn?
Well that’s unfortunate đ
This kind of situation can be a self fulfilling prophecy as you begin to worry about it happening, and then it happens.
Definitely a good idea for him to see his GP. If any physical issues get ruled out, then he/you may benefit from some therapy to work through this.
He needs to know that this is very common and it’s by no means something that cannot be fixed.
Good luck to you both.
Have him read a little bit of a romance novel where theyâre fucking. Guyâs brains and blood have to be willing.
Is he on an SSRI ? Does he smoke/use nicotine ?
Well, what are you waiting for? Suck his dick.
The GP appointment is a good idea. There are some medical conditions that could cause it. They might also recommend a higher dose.
The big thing is what do you do when it happens? Does sex stop? A lot of times what works really well is just taking control of the situation and give him something to do.
What does he feel when he’s inside you? My personal experience is I had sensitivity issues and never knew because I was like that since purbity and I’m 42 now. The only thing I could feel inside was how hot and wet my partner was. But now that I know. I’ve been working on permanently regaining sensation.
50 mg isnât enough. He needs 100mg. I had same issue. Up to 100 and nonissues
This is something that has plagued me. My issue is two fold. First issue is performance anxiety from past relationship trauma. I get super nervous and focus so much âgetting the job doneâ that I stop enjoying the act and guess what? I go soft. Once it happens, its now in your head and becomes a snowball rolling downhill. The second issue that plagued me is deathgrip. Sex (or lack thereof) was a huge issue in my marriage (which has ended) so I became dependent on masterbation and porn. PIV sex just didnât feel like it should.
As far as your BF goes, I caution you to tread lightly. Pressing the issue will only increase the anxiety and make it worse. I would be patient and encourage him. Play around and continue to engage in non PIV acts build him up more before switching to PIV. Once PIV is happening, the best thing you can do is to keep him out of his head. A slight distraction like talking dirty might even help.
Also, you might subtly find out how much heâs self indulging. If itâs a lot, that might require a difficult conversation. But I wouldnât pursue this line until youâve ruled out anxiety.
It could be performance anxiety. Maybe try being super enthusiastic and stroking his ego a little?
Sounds silly but doing anything to improve his confidence outside the bedroom can help. I never had issues keeping it up, but I started working out and gained confidence and got physically healthier and my erection is harder than ever. Working out can have two types of positive impact.
He may be up in his head for no particular reason. You seem to be very helpful and supportive but sometimes itâs not enough. Does he have any issues outside of the bedroom that may be causing him anxiety. Iâve been through it myself and he will be alright, just keep talking about it and reassure him that itâs ok.
Tell him that its all about him and for him to do whatever the fuck he wants with you.
That’ll take the pressure off performing for you and maybe get him over this hump
This may sound funny. Have his blood sugar tested. I was having some issues, turns out I am diabetic. Once I hit that under control and started going to the gym, It’s suddenly like I’m 20 years old again. My wife asked me last week, when the last time I used a cialis was. I checked the date on my unopened script, it was like a year ago.
Diabetes effects blood flow.
Going to the gym increased my testosterone.