After close to 2 years together my boyfriend (m20) and I (f20) put a pause on moving in together as we agreed that we should focus on our careers and future before making such a financial commitment,
this choice resulted in my boyfriend moving an hour and a half away and joining university, while I encouraged him to do what he wants I feel as though he has changed so much since moving, for example, he has never been much of a partying person since a mistake was made at the beginning of the relationship but now it’s all he seems to care about and has since resulted in a large argument between him and I over him getting black out drunk and having to confirm with his flatmates he didn’t do anything, since then he has vouched that he won’t ever drink again or go to any party as he would rather stay with me than ever do that but I feel as though this will only make him despise me more as I do not want him to stop doing what he enjoy’s,
And so now I sit at home not being able to afford to travel to him with this constant uncomfortable feeling of dread that he’s just doing to leave me as the pressures of his peers lay down on his chest, this has been further compounded by his recent messages whereby I do not feel as close a connection or care from him, with things such as “meh” are being spoken when they have never before and hurtful honesty like his excitement of living there for years to come while I’m at home doing nothing waiting for him to give me attention,
I feel just so left behind and no longer a priority in his life, it’s as though with every passing day I loose him more and more and I just don’t know what to do, I want to make it work but right now I feel so stuck in a rut of loneliness and heartbreak for someone who’s having the best time of his life.
TL;DR my boyfriend moved an hour and a half away and since then I feel as though our relationship is falling apart, from arguments about nights out to constantly feeling like we’re on different paths and I just don’t know what to do.
3 comments
University is a mass of rapidly-occurring new things. People change a LOT. Sometimes it’s good change. Sometimes mistakes are made.
Growing apart while he’s gone is normal. It’s perfectly ok for you to tell him “We’ve grown apart. I’m going to pursue new things. Best luck. Bye.”
It’s possible he’s feeling the same.
You’re both just 20. Why can’t he go to parties? Unless he gets massively shitfaced every second day, let him be young. It’s not his fault you are so clingy. No offense but you should have other things in your life so you don’t just sit at home if he is unavailable.
Why aren’t you in uni? Instead of sitting around feeling sorry that your boyfriend is moving on in his life, you could and should be doing the same thing.