A friend of mine is something of a social butterfly. We hang out a lot. But lately I’ve noticed that she deprioritizes or completely forgets about plans I make with her (to which she agrees and we discuss in depth). Sometime she even initiates these plans and then never follows through. When we do hang out, it’s usually her inviting me last minute to things she’s already doing with other people (ie they’ve already gotten together and she asks me if I want to join). I used to consider her a close friend but now I’m not so sure. How should I proceed about this without seeming to clingy, argumentative and not going scorched earth.
1 comment
To me it seems like maybe you are her go-to friend when nothing else is happening. Like she likes hanging out with you but you are her default unless nothing big or new is happening. I would say when she does it again, say something like “oh but I thought we had plans.” It would amke her feel a biit guilty.
More importantly, start looking for your own hangouts. To me it sounds like you depend on her alot to go out. Start looking for new friends you can do things with and have more options. Invite people to do things. Maybe even invite your friend to do something. If she’s always making the plans and doing the invites then it sounds like she could be getting a little tired of being the planner. Ive been the planner and it sucks when you feel like noone else is putting an effort.