We’re in an LDR situation right now and we do it on the phone. No exchange of media, just calling. And I’m really bad at it. He’s the only one doing the talking and I mostly stay silent because I don’t know what to say. He tries to save it by talking more to arouse himself but it’s hard without my help. He just won’t come. He did a few times but I think it’s just him. We really love each other and so we wanna do it as an act of love so we can’t really just not do it. Also, he gets horny by thinking of doing stuff with me so it’s all in his head. I don’t make him horny myself. I feel bad and it hurts my ego. I’m really shy and when he makes me say stuff, I just won’t. I don’t know what to ask exactly but any opinions on this? Is there any way I can improve my talking? Also is this a turn off for guys?
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It takes two to tango. No one wants a silent partner in bed, that’s…demoralizing. Create your fantasy together.
Sometimes it’s just your voice. You can read the daily sports stats and a guy could get off. But if it’s content, tell him you’re going to read to him. Find a really good smut book and read a scene that turns you on. It might be quite informative to him on what you like when you are actually together.
If he’s doing the talking and thinking of being sexy whilst actually having to let go and enjoy himself enough to cum….
You are being hard on him. If you want him to cum then let him be silent for a few minutes and arouse him.
Try video chatting and getting naked. Play with yourself and don’t be shy show him what he is missing and I’m sure he will finish
I had a really hard time with this in sex too talking was hard, but mainly i think its cause we get too in our heads, my partner and i have been together a good long time now, and tbh the best way to be good at dirty talk is by getting (metaphorically at least) down and dirty, get in the mood get aroused, maybe even listen to some casual audio porn for men? My partner is nonbianary so tbh it was probably a little harder for us to figure out lol, cause theres not very many gender neutral options in dirty talk, so we had to learn eachothers boundaries and turn ons and some things like that before we got any good at it, i recommend trying out some sexting as well as it can give you more time to really think about what you want to say, make him feel and even possibly could have a tab with helpful things on it to glance at as well! Hope this helps some! But ultimately its all about getting comfortable with each other and learning
Try playing with his balls and rubbing underneath them while you ride him.
You sound kinda selfish stating that you stay silent and you state that you’re shy along with not saying anything, and then flat out saying “I think it’s just him”.
You have evidence of when he gets off, it’s when you reciprocate. I’m not gonna sit there and try and get off to a phone call that isn’t interesting. I’d rather watch porn at that point where there is noise, and a decent beat at the intro lol
If you’re not good in doing it over the phone, maybe try sexting? I’m not good at calling either but my voice is enough to turn on my bf. I’ve made him cum just by sexting, if you want to level it up you can send some teasing photos of you – doesn’t have to be nude. Try and help him, saying you’re just not good at it isn’t enough. Do something.
Have you tried listening to erotic audio? I have a particular subreddit in mind, but apparently I can’t link to it in a comment here. But listen to spoken word erotic audio. A lot. Listen to audios for men and for women too, just to get both perspectives. Learn what turns you on. And eventually you’ll know what to say to turn him on.
[edit: typo]
Phone sex has never been my thing I wouldn’t worry about it too much, nor would I engage in phone sex with my SO if I had one in an LDR for that reason.
Why the long distance relationship?
Bro think of it like this. If you were married n forced to work, pay for the bills, come home, and cook while your partner watched tv all day, do you think it will last? Do you think both are getting out what they need? As a man I’ll tell u it will probably end badly where he will find someone who does meet his needs better n is actually more of a PARTNER instead of a freeloader
I can count on one hand how many times I’ve ever cum from only a BJ. I can tell you right now, there is absolutely no way in hell I would be able to get off from having phone sex. Now, one of my exs and I used to do it when I traveled just to help her get off, but the most it did for me was get me horny. You need to just realize that not everything can get everyone to the finish line. Everyone is different.
One thing that has helped me is listening to some audio porn. Try to find some highly rated stuff and you can learn from them. You might even find something on there that you like 😵💫
Reddit has a great subreddit called gonewildaudio, however it won’t let me link you straight there.
Would it help if he faked it? Ladies do it, and there’s a lot of guys out there thinking they really know how to sling it. In reality, girls are good at faking it. I’m giving the advice to the wrong person in this situation, but you know. At least you’d feel better.
It sounds like you’re way too young to be participating in whatever this is.
Because hes not ready. And if you only have sex for about 15 minutes or less then he won’t release
Well yes its a turn-off for the person who has to do all the work. At the end of the day, you just have to do it and practice. No one learns by being too scared to participate. Say what feels natural to you and start small. You’ll hear what works for him by his reaction to it. But at the end of the day, you just have to do it.
Why is he still with you? Damnn
This made me think of this educational website (NSFW!) https://beducated.com
fake
That seems like rather 15 yo girl first time talking to a guy rather than both dating and loving each other.
Man this just sounds horrible. I try to give you advice but overall I think an LDR is a horrible idea and you two should try and find someone that’s closer. With that said, phone sex is an even more horrible idea, dudes aren’t as imaginative as women when it comes to sex, they’re more visual so unless he’s watching porn while talking to you, I don’t think phone sex is gonna be successful. I’d advise you to send some nudes (I don’t really advise that but this is the situation you’re in), make videos or zoom call or something while you guys talk. And about you not talking during phone sex, how were you expecting him to get off with audio being the only medium available and you not providing any audio? DO YOU NOT SEE WHERE YOU THRU LOGIC OUT THE WINDOW??? Forget being shy, that’s ridiculous!
And imma 100% honest (😂 like if I haven’t been already). I think your bf is a psychopath. Ain’t no why in hell you’re so super horny to get off to silence and what I’d do to you. Shows lack of control over his sexual urges. I’d be very wary if I were you.
Have you used toys while on the phone with him?
You remain suspiciously silent about your end of this..
Can happen, he’s probably stressed or masturbates too much. As long as he take cares of your pleasure you’re good. Talk to him and understand Whats causing the block
Maybe phone sex isn’t your thing and could try something else like sexting or naughty photos
Have you tried reading erotic novels out loud? Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldnt usually to get rid of your shyness.