(M) 23 (F) 25
She has a kid with another guy. He’s obviously not in the picture, but has anyone here dated a person with a kid on the opposite side? Finding the dating world is just garbage and at this point im looking at expanding my net and lowering my standards….again….even tho they weren’t high to begin with…..any insight? T.I.A
18 comments
When you say “lowering my standards” it seems like you’re implying women with kids are… subpar (?!)
Anyway, I was seeing a man who has two kids and I was definitely willing to get to know him better. I wanted a relationship. He wanted to forget the mother of his kids using me.
I’m still trying to get over this relationship that never existed. RIP.
Do you want that responsibility at your age though?
Date her and enjoy your time together but make sure you and her understand what expectations you have of each other.
If she wants a stepdad/father figure for her kid, are you prepared and willing to be that?
Maybe she doesn’t want that at all, maybe she wants to separate her life as a mother from her life as a single woman. Maybe got got brothers who are great uncles to her kid and don’t need you to be that father figure.
You won’t know until you have that conversation with her.
At your age, I wouldn’t even consider it. There is a lot that goes into dating a single mother, and what you get is the responsibility of helping to raise her child, another man’s offspring, but yet none of the authority, when it comes to disciplining or making crucial decisions in his life. For reference, I am a single father.
They are also a package deal, you can’t have one without the other, and you are living in your 20s now. You should be living it up, enjoying yourself, traveling, and doing whatever you want. Not tied down to someone with a kid. I do not think you should lower your status that far. In the dating market, single parents are no longer the cream of the crop. you have ample opportunity to find someone without a child who you can click with and have fun. Don’t keep lowering your standards because you’re impatient.
My step dad has to deal with this situation. I like him but I feel bad that he’s only allowed all the responsibility over my younger bothers but none of the authority. Its like playing someone else’s saved game file.
Don’t do it fam
run the fuck away lol
You’re too young to be dealing with baggage. Move on.
Lowering your standards because she has a kid? Dude leave her alone, that’s insulting to say the least. Let them find someone who doesn’t think they are beneath them. You can’t date a single parent just because childless people don’t like you.
You shouldn’t be with her if you classify it as lowering your standards. Obviously not something you want or can deal with right now. That’s fair enough but don’t lead her on.
Its up to you. How she would/wouldnt involve you into her kid’s life is entirely her decision and will be something that will continuously be talked about.
But since you said you “had to lower your standards” 😭 just do yourself, her, & the kid the favor of just saying “Hey, I’m not ready for a kid to be involved in my life. It’s a big responsibility and I just don’t feel equipped for that.”
Like. Don’t go onward at this point, cause you’re definitely gonna fuck up that kids life. Go
Hey OP. I’m 24 currently dating a mother (40) of 2. Have been for a little over 6 months. Whilst there might be people wondering why I guess the age gap first off, but also someone with two children, all I have to say is this has been the best relationship I’ve had thus far. Unfortunately when you date someone who has kids, you date the whole package like many others have said. However for me, I have not had any issues whatsoever with this.
I am not responsible for the kids in any way, but will enjoy some time with them as a little ‘family’ every other weekend. I get to spend time with my partner when the kids are either at school or with their dad (which is rare), but I need to remind you that your partner’s kids are not your responsibility. If you really like her, I don’t see why you shouldn’t give it a go. Don’t be a step-parent, but be a fun friend to the kids.
We communicate a lot about what we’re feeling and it is overall an extremely healthy relationship as we don’t get to spend so much 1-1 time without kids so being honest and communicating how you’re feeling is very important.
Best of luck!
Hey.
I have kids myself. Up until I was like 25, it was hard for me to find men without kids and I stuck to my guns until I dated a guy with kids at 26. He seemed to be a great dad, but it wasn’t for me personally. It really felt impossible to find someone without kids. Then I met my kids dad and he didn’t have any kids at the time. If you aren’t feeling it then keep looking for what you want.
25 and with a kid
Hmmm sound like a red flag to me.
If u are not ready to take care of the kid and treating like ur own, just bail
Yes, I’ve dated women with kids, what advice do you want?
You are already on the wrong foot by saying ” you lowered your standards” so right off the bat you are an asshole looking to probably just smash cause why else even entertain the thought If she’s beneath you then why date her or even talk to her?
Leave her alone and go look for someone on your level.
Be ready to face some relastic I answer
You will never be the no1 priority. The kid will always be first.
If you developed a bond with the kid. If by any chance you broke up.. Those this will end up too
If married and divorced you have 0 parental right
You will be sharing a burden of 2..
Your date time wil be limited
Travel limited
Intimate time
Be ready to face some relastic I answer
You will never be the no1 priority. The kid will always be first.
If you developed a bond with the kid. If by any chance you broke up.. Those this will end up too
If married and divorced you have 0 parental right
You will be sharing a burden of 2..
Your date time wil be limited
Travel limited
Intimate time
Dating someone with a kid comes with a lot of strings attached. I understand what you mean about lowering your standards. It doesn’t mean that the lady is worth any less but you now have more dynamics when it comes to your relationship than dating someone without a kid.
For me, I wouldn’t be interested in the financial part of having to pitch in for someone else’s kid. For example, you go out for dinner and she brings the kid. What are you going to do.. are you going to tell her to pay for her kid or are you going to pay for dinner for 3 people. Obviously if you don’t offer to pay.. then most likely she will dump you regardless. This is just how most female brains work.
I personally will not date a girl with a kid because I know I don’t want kids rn. That being said I have three good friends who are happily married to great girls that had kids from a prior relationship. If you’re okay with kids and she’s “perfect” go for it. If not, leave her be.