I have pretty bad social anxiety and have recently been trying to overcome this by talking to new people.
Usually I’II just complement people I see around my collage saying something like ‘I like your outfit’
Is this a weird thing to do??
Am I making the other person uncomfortable??
(Sorry wasn’t too sure what subreddit to put this in, if you think it belongs elsewhere please tell me I’m kinda new to Reddit)
45 comments
I’d love to be complimented but I have also tried complimenting others on my campus only to get dirty looks and queasy side eyes. It really depends on the recipient of the complement on whether its a good thing or not. For the right person it could be just what they need, and it may even lead to a conversation
I’ve also got some pretty bad anxiety so I would love to receive a compliment.
But I would much rather someone just throw a compliment my way in passing rather than full blown stopping me. So it really depends on how you’re doing it
When I was deep in my social anxiety, I avoided interaction at all costs. As I’ve learned to cope a bit more, it’s been easier to compliment people! I think compliments are nice, everyone I’ve complimented in passing smiles and thanks me and sometimes they’ll compliment back. I’m not saying this happens 100% of the time but I think it’s a good way to work on social interaction on a smaller scale. Obviously take what I said with a grain of salt and do what you think is best, but I hope things improve for you 🙂
It can be a great icebreaker to chatting with someone. Just be sure it’s not an interruption/imposition and if their body language or tone doesn’t seem receptive just move on.
I complimented a woman the other day at a clothing store (I’m also a woman) and she looked at me like I have brain damage lol I was embarrassed at first but then I was like wow that’s so sad she can’t take a compliment I’m glad I’m not her lol
i’m a slightly socially awkward 37F (tbh i just don’t like people that much) and i try to break out by both complimenting strangers and also saying hello to people and smiling, i try to go out of my way to complement the younger gals bc i REFUSE to be one of those older women who hates on the younger ones (i got a lot of that when i was younger and it really bothered me) and i’ve found that the younger girls all either ignore me or roll their eyes at me lol… like ok girl never mind i don’t like your shoes, sorry i spoke to you lol
I tend to compliment people a lot and 9/10 people seem delighted.
That 1/10 compliment accidentally came off as creepy…Oops.
It’s not weird per se but it is extremely dependent on context.
As a woman I feel pretty comfortable complimenting other women on their wardrobe “cute shoes” / “I like your necklace”, but I think if a man did it, it might be received differently.
I also compliment men on their outfits but I’m pretty selective about it.
From what I’ve read, a lot of men feel like they don’t get a lot of compliments. So honestly I think it would be good if men focused on giving each other more compliments and expressing their appreciation for each other.
I’d say “I love your hair” or something is hard to misinterpret, but maybe something like “nice shoes” can be off depending on tone. You’re probably doing just fine though, I like to do the same thing when people are walking past me.
I do that and I think it’s cool so long as it’s not that personal, ie. don’t compliment the personality of a stranger; that’s weird.
I do what I call “drive by compliments”
As an example. I work with a lady who has really pretty dark brown eyes. I told her yesterday just walking by her. Hey you have beautiful eyes and just kept walking. I didn’t look to see what kind of reaction or anything. But she smiled at me the next few times we crossed paths. I guess it was ok for her, but to me it was just something I really wanted to say and it made me feel better. I have been trying this for the last few months. It makes me feel good to say something nice and since it’s just walk up say something walk away it takes away all the tension of a follow up or any expectations of normal social interactions.
You just described me.
I have social anxiety and I know I can be awkward sometimes. Not creepy, but kinda dorky awkward.
But I started complimenting people randomly too. Like when we took our kids to the clip n climb, I liked this girl’s dress (who I didn’t know) and I told her so. She seemed so happy.
And another time there was an elderly lady behind me at the grocery store. I noticed her really pretty pendant necklace and told her I loved it. She seemed taken aback but appreciative.
Just 3 weeks ago I told someone she was very beautiful… and her mother was there too so I said, well you’re 2 beauties.
They probably thought I was drunk. But oh well. Lol
I’ve received random compliments in the past by strangers. It doesn’t happen anymore bc I’m not that pretty anymore, lol. But it would always make me feel cheerful.
Honestly, it’s a compliment. You’re putting nice vibes out into the universe.
It’s a nice thing 💜
Compliments are generally great as long as it’s something they can change (e.g. not their body) so like clothes, hair, piercings whatever
For example “hey I love your pink hair” is fine “nice cock” is not
No! I don’t think it’s weird! I think some people need to hear something positive to turn their day around and that could be you. As long as you’re genuine and don’t have other intentions.
Complimenting someone in passing on a clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry, or message tee (especially the latter) is generally socially acceptable and adds a nice little upper to that person’s day if you don’t expect follow up or comment on their body or features.
Not at all weird. It often makes my day when I receive a compliment and it can be a great icebreaker or even just a boost to your own mood, if you know you’ve made someone else a little happier. I’ve never had a weird reaction after giving a compliment but if I know that if I did, it would be on them, really.
I don’t think it’s weird. But their reaction should determine yours, if you feel you’ve gone too far just don’t go any further. Everyone’s different 🙂
No its so nice and i do it all the time and no one is mean they just say thank you. My tip would be to do it while walking away. Like if ur in school do it right when the bell rings and just be like “oh i love ur hair” as ur walking away
As I 61f get older I try to compliment someone every day. Their outfit, their garden whatever caches my eye. As an older woman I always get no grief.
That is a great practice! Do not let peoples reactions discourage you! Often when people respond negatively to compliments it comes from something personal and nothing to do with you
no girls basically windowshop what the other girls are wearing all day like we’re all models walking the catwalk lmao
ideally tho you’d only engage with people who seem “open” in body language, like they’re in a chatty mood, too. accept someone’s signs that they aren’t looking to socially engage. you want clear enthusiasm for wanting what you’re giving, no, and friendliness can be kinda violating if you’re not in the mood to smile and be friendly back. and definitely don’t get mad if they’re not into it, lol. you wouldn’t want them to feel coerced to reciprocate, right. just my bonus two cents XD matching people’s energy is probably the most underrated social skill.
I have a list of ‘things to do daily to be happier’ on my front door so I see it every time I leave the house. One of the things is to compliment three people. I’ve always been greeted with approval.
No you would probably make their day
Hello, absolutely not! I just complemented a woman at Costco cause she looked great. I told her that exact thing and she was happy to hear it.
I do this too! I started doing it when I realized how much I liked getting compliments, and honestly I’ve gotten nothing but either neutral or positive feedback. I guess just make sure it nothing weirdly sexual or whatnot, I think you should be fine!
I think if there’s room for a genuine compliment to be given then go ahead. However, empty compliments or compliments given at a relatively inappropriate time or setting can make someone uncomfortable as well as it feeling disingenuous or forced.
Sometimes, it depends on the location.
People, their culture, values and ethics change with region.
as long as they’re genuine
My mum made a whole Facebook post after a guy complimented her purse, she was so happy. It was just a passing comment, but it made her day. 100% compliment people- anybody, too. Especially about things people *choose* to express or show off- it works every time. I work in customer service, believe me.
Customers who call me cute weird me out, but customers who compliment my eyeliner get a grin from me. Find something specific and compliment that, something that’s obvious or not- depends on how much time you have to find a thing to compliment em. Also, complimenting behavior and actions often works well too.
I feel this so hard 😭 I want to compliment people, but I psych myself out and convince myself I’ll sound like a weirdo.
I think compliments are fine but i find that they dont normally start long conversations. I see them as literally a passing phrase or else they tend to get awkward…unless the compliment includes a question like “omg i love that skirt it looks comfy! where did you get it?”
Is it weird to ask strangers if it’s weird to compliment strangers?
not weird as long as what you’re complimenting isn’t weird. i keep compliments to outfits and hair- “i like your outfit” is a good compliment in my experience. i’ve been happy when others complimented me that way and others seem unbothered/glad when i do the same.
it’s good you’re trying to break out of your anxiety this way (i’ve been trying to and it helps!), getting out of your comfort zone and talking to others positively like this will be very good!
If you plan to chat furthuer yes, otherwise it may be interepreted as an ice breaker to start a conversation/flirting.
Whatever the point is , some will find it nice some will find it weird, but most ppp will definitelly not be bothered/offended.
You’d be surprized on how much small compliments like that from strangers make people’s day.
So i actually started doing something similar a couple of years back and i have never once gotten anything but totally positive reactions when i do, i will disclose im 21 f just unless that makes a difference but i just told myself that if i noticed and thought something nice about someone id just tel them. Like some other commenters have mentioned though its important that you still respect others so of course if someone is busy, or on the phone, or even just look in a big big hurry i don’t disturb them but i also wasn’t trying to make friends or have long conversations either, so ive never had an issue, anytime ive ever said something like… “hey i just wanted to say i absolutely love your (blah blah insert pieces of clothing or hair)” and i normally get something along the lines of them looking confused for a second, then smiling alot of the times wide and even with eye crinkles, and a “oh my gosh thank you so muchh i got bleh bleh bleh frok
Belh bleh belh store if you like it” and then i move on and keep doing what i was doing and normally so do they! however it most definitely helped get me a little more comfy talking to people, giving compliments, and even knowing when to end/keep convos going! If someone asks you a question or compliments your clothes after and continue to stand around or stay close they tend to be at least considering initiating a longer convo! I have made several friends this way! And also made a ton of beautiful men and women smile! So thats always a win in my book, ultimately as long as your compliments are just that compliments no one has ever had any negative response, even the one person i did this with that made me the most nervous went amazing! Quick story about it and ill go but anyways! I was in a grocery store with my grandmother getting some stuff for dinner, and when we walked in i saw just the best dressed woman in the store by far in some sort of pink well and obv tailored suit, like 6 inch tall skinny black stilettos and a pink hat and sunglasses but she had the most irritable frustrated look on her face so i just kinds walked by the first time, after seeing her three more times throughout the store snd finally standing next to her in line i just kinda did a little wave and told her i thought her outfit and style were lovely, and this woman transformed in 2 second off came the sunglasses and the scowl and in those two seconds she turned into the sweetest most talkative lady ever! She told me all about the suit, asked about my leather jacket, thanked me multiple times for the compliment as asked if i thought matching pink heels or the black she had would be better (the black they’re timeless lol) and then waved by as she walked out to her car so honestly you never know
No its a kind of away to approach
No, wtf, I do something weird all the time then
I make a point of doing this every time I’m out in public. You never know whose day you’re going to brighten. I believe there are ripple effects. I’ll never know about them, but I hope it increases the good in the world.
You’re too far gone bro
Just make observational comments to anyone you encounter. After awhile, it’ll become second nature.
It depends on what you say and HOW you say it. You gotta choose which words to use wisely. If a stranger compliments me, I’ll be flattered.
I’ve been given evil looks for saying I like someone’s top. OTOH some strangers will gratefully receive compliments
It actually depence…
I really love receive compliments and compliment others.
Even if sometimes I don’t find something VERY attractive, pretty, interesting or unique. Even if it’s just ordinary or normal.
I keep in mind – compliment have never hurt anyone and maybe it’s just what they need to hear. You even could save someone with kind words and warm smile