I’m currently enrolled in my first year of college, so I’ve been trying to make friends with people and get out of my comfort zone, but this girl I met on my first week of college is showing her true colors now and she’s really starting to creep me out.
First of all, she actually found me on my first week while I was eating lunch alone (pretty normal stuff, I don’t mind), and I don’t have a lot of similar interests with her besides that. She automatically assumed from then on that we would eat lunch together every thursday until our next classes start, but no matter how many times I told her I’d rather not, she still looks for me all over campus and finds me.
She’s started to get rather creepy recently. She sent me a TON of screenshots of her spamming this guy she tried talking to (with him clearly showing no interest and being dry throughout the conversations ) the other day and I forgot to reply to her texts, and she still kept texting me (telling me she’s going background checks on him, debating calling the police because he won’t answer, etc). She had also sent me her long distance boyfriend’s snapchat and asked me to watch his story and such for her.
I honestly don’t know how to tell this girl to leave me alone. I don’t want to seem rude, but i still want her to get the message to leave me alone. I’ve tried sitting with my friend groups I’m comfortable with for her to get the memo that I’m busy, but she’ll still come over and pull up a seat next to us. I’ve just resorted to hiding on campus during lunchtime.
If someone could help me ask her in a non-asshole way to get her to leave me alone, I would be forever in debt to you!!!
2 comments
Wow, I’m sorry this person has clung to you! She sounds pretty damn irritating *and* scary.
Given her irrational behavior, I would dial *way* back on the texting back. As she spams, you might say something like, “Hey, I’m really busy and receiving multiple messages is overwhelming right now.” This opens the door to be more firm if she persists: “Please stop sending messages.” Then, silencing her messages. (You can always block, but when people seem a little batshit crazy, I prefer not to. I like to keep a record of what they send.)
When she approaches you at school, you’re well within your right to say, “Hey, Timberly! I hope you’re doing well today. Unfortunately, I can’t talk right now. I’ve got to study. I’ll see you around.” Or, “I’m taking a breather. Need to be by myself for a bit.”
You can also be direct: “You’re a cool person and I like you, but I don’t feel we jibe as friends. It’s nothing personal. I do wish you all the best.”
None of this is rude. I know it 100% absolutely sucks to have to say to another person, and most people would get the hint waaaay before you had to say anything at all. Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be the case with this person.
Tell her straight up. Don’t beat around the bush. Hey, leave me alone, I don’t know you that well and you’re coming off too strong for my liking. I wish you all the best though. That’s it.