How do Married Couples Keep it Interesting in the Bedroom?

9 comments

1. I don’t know. It’s been 16 years and I’m still fucking stoked every time my wife spreads her legs and beckons. I find her interesting and exciting, which makes sex exciting.

   Sometimes we try something new but that’s not what makes the magic happen, that comes from the sum of our bond I think. I can’t really explain it, those who know just know, and being different to that is fine too.

2. How old are you?

3. I don’t know if I can explain it.

   It ebbs and flows but 30 years in and its still hot. We both know exactly what the other likes and know how to get the desired result.

   We still get pretty excited about it.

4. I think the emotional component is what makes married sex exceptional. Im desperately in love with my wife, so having the privilege of her attention, especially sexually, makes me feel alive like nothing else can. It’s like a drug, but better.

5. Perhaps I’m not the best to answer this question, as I’ve only been married for 4 years, and plus I’m actually in a three-way marriage, so having two people I guess increases the variety. With that said though, even if I was only with one of my partners, I don’t think I would ever get tired of having sex with them. I certainly would not dread the aspect of sticking with out routine for the next 60 years.

   Part of it I guess is that I’m pretty vanilla overall, and just don’t have much of a desire to do anything new. One of my wives is quite an oddball, and so the other two of us often get wrapped up in whatever weird thing she wants us to do (for better or for worse).

   But really, I think it’s just a mindset thing. To me, sex is about the love and intimacy way before it’s about the sexual pleasure. It’s so important that I didn’t even have sex before we got married. The connection my darlings and I have is what makes me happy, and that doesn’t change, no matter how many times we do it.

   Either way, as someone really young, I’m really looking forward to decades and decades of future intimacy with them 🙂

6. Depends what you find interesting. Sex with someone new or someone you don’t see everyday has an excitement that you can’t really recreate in a long-term relationship. So if that’s what you’re after, forget it. But with the right partner and the right relationship work ethic you can have what a lot of people find to be *better* sex and feel like the luckiest person in the world.

7. Thats y ur divorced. If you’re bored, you’re boring.

8. I (F39) have been with my husband (46) for almost 20 years. I think it’s trust and communication that let us keep things interesting, we know that if the other wants to try new things, we are open to giving it a go! The way my husband looks at me is exciting. I’ve lost a lot of weight and look very different, in a very good way (in my opinion anyway😅), so that might be exciting for him too.

9. That’s really funny. When I started out again after my wife dies I couldn’t imagine sex with a new partner being any good! All depends on your perspective I guess.

   It’s exciting and validating with a new partner. But the compression / pleasure-from-her-pleasure component gets better and better with more emotional connection. Also, everyone is a bit different and really getting to know what a partner likes and what works well for both of us is great, things just keep getting better.

   What I found useful was having “routine” sex that was a bit about pleasure and a bit about getting each other off and a lot about pleasuring the other and a lot about emotional connection; and date night / “special” nights when we would try something a bit different.