I’ve reached out to the friend that I haven’t spoken to in weeks and it’s been a few days since I last sent a message. But the thing is I’m afraid it will show the blue arrow and “opened 1 day ago”, because my friend done this before and it took her a few days to reply. I used to be able to message her and have no problem but since she leaves me on read from time to time I can’t help but be scared to be rejected so to speak.
Even if she did reply I’d feel bad for being chicken and waiting for so long and then idk what else to say to her if she did reply. Idk what to do and I’m scared of being hurt.. I hate how I take things so personally because I have a lot of insecurities.
4 comments
Your worth is not dependent on your friends response/supply.
This is what I repeat to myself every time my bf does this to me. It’s not personal, sometimes they just don’t feel like talking, or they are worrying about what to say to you or their just busy / tired.
A quick easy “hey, just checking in, you good?” Can go a long way.
I think we might need more context. Are you just afraid of talking after so long? Or are you afraid of talking to her because she might just ignore you or call you out for being so dependent on her? Also, if she sometimes doesn’t reply to you the second or hour that you message her it doesn’t mean that she’s ignoring you on purpose. For example if your message is too long she might be too busy to read it entirely and read just a few sentences before thinking “I’ll read this later” (which she might forget to do too). Sometimes you don’t feel like talking to anyone too (Like when you want to have some alone time and listen to music). Overall if she’s not being too rude or disrespectful you can ask her why she hasn’t been answering you lately while also apologizing to her in case you’ve done something wrong. Also don’t be afraid when you talk to her, trust me, people don’t really care about chatting on the internet as much as talking in real life.
Have you ever left anyone on read, but for purely benign reasons? You got distracted, or you opened the message by accident while looking for something else and didn’t have time to read it? Or you reopened the app to message someone else and it automatically opened that message?
If you sit down with a pen and paper and stretch your imagination, how many legitimate reasons can you come up with for someone being left on read with absolutely no negative intent or ill feeling whatsoever?
What if your friend is struggling to know what to say? What if she has anxiety herself, or is struggling with depression, or is just really, really busy at the moment?
What if your friend is, at this very moment, miserable at the fact that she sends you messages and you don’t even read them for days on end?
When we have insecurities it is natural to assume the worst. It is the same as when we have anger issues, by the way, it is normal to assume negative intent behind actions that then lead to us getting angry.
The way to deal with these feelings is (and it’s a slow process), but first recognising when we are assuming the worst, and then going through a list of alternative reasons and making a conscious decision to assume that there is no negative intent. It can feel pretty hollow at first, but the more we do it the more we can accept it and not feel bad. Eventually we naturally assume positive intent instead of negative intent, and can be forgiving of others and of ourselves, rather than deciding that we have been left on read because we aren’t liked.
Someone who makes you feel this way isn’t probably worth it. I don’t mean she’s a bad person, but she probably cares about other things more than about you. And why would you even spend time thinking about this kind of person.
I mean, you can always feel when something is off. I’m not saying everyone who has ever left you on read is not your friend, but if this is a reoccurring behavior an it makes you feel bad, then it’s probably this case.