How do you deal with gossiping family members?

16 comments

1. Bonnie Raitt:

   Don’t give them something to talk about

   Don’t give them something to figure out

   Don’t give them something to talk about

   They need to get a liiiiiiiiiiiiiife life life.

2. I don’t concern myself with it, and I don’t engage in it.

3. Gossip how?

   Like talk about celebrities? I’m in

   Talk shit about me? Direct calling them out in front of everyone

4. In through one ear out of the other – unless I feel like they’re being disrespectful, then I tell them off

5. I flatly say “where did your nose go? Is it in someone else’s business again?”

6. i stopped visiting

7. I ignore it lol

8. Keep anything private to yourself from them.

   I come from a culture where women are known for gossip. If my relatives were to know about my private life they would start asking questions non-stop among each other.

9. Just went through this with an elderly aunt and a cousin (the 2 raging gossips in the family) who saw a photo of my husband and I on IG. I was wearing a dress which wasn’t quite as form fitting as I usually wear and these two decided amongst themselves I had to be pregnant, proceeded to announce it to several family members, and the grapevine was off and running.

   I usually ignore gossip but this took on a life of its own and warranted dealing with. They won’t be starting rumors where I’m concerned again.

10. It depends on the nature of the gossip. If it’s harmless enough I just tell them I don’t like it. In extreme cases, and if they do it repeatedly, I remove them from my life.

11. My mom talks a lot about things her friends would be embarrassed to know she’s sharing. Unfortunately, mom is reactive, so if you are quick enough to handle something in the minute, or if you later come back to tell her what she said wasn’t right, she over-reacts. Last week, she was talking about her friends and what a financial mess their life is (with details) and how fat and out of shape the husband is (she like counts how many pieces of toast he has out for breakfast.) She 100% always talks about their financial situation and the husband’s weight every single time they are brought up.

    Last week, I finally sent her an e-mail afterwards telling her how embarrassed they’d be to know that was how she chose to talk about them to other people. They have been close friends for decades. I also said I didn’t appreciate her taking a dig at me in the same conversation. She of course over-reacted and said we just shouldn’t talk anymore. I’m giving her a time-out, but I really have hit the limit of wanting to tolerate how she talks about other people. It’s mean, not interesting, and really none of my/her business.

12. I let them know that I am going to be blocking their numbers should they continue to gossip about others to me.
    One cousin of mine (known for gossiping) once asked to come by as she had something that she was going through and wanted to “offload” to me. I said I would let her know when available and just ghosted. My instinct was that she might have been genuinely going through something, but knowing her, it would not have been the only thing that would be up for discussion. Other people’s business would have formed part of the so called “off-loading” 🙄

13. It depends. People who want to gossip will either bring up new stuff they think they know about or rehash old stuff. People will gossip, it’s just part of life.

    In some situations I’ve intentionally given false information to people because I didn’t want them to know what was actually going on. I keep certain things private. I try to only post positive news on social media. The few times I’ve shared a negative update it was a death in the family or something like that where I couldn’t hide it. My husband and I are TTC rn and we plan to keep everything secret for as long as possible when we finally get pregnant. The plan is for people to not even know I’m pregnant until we have the baby if possible.

    I’m hyper independent and don’t let family help me with anything even if I’m struggling because I don’t want it to become a topic of conversation later. I’d rather suffer and struggle than have certain vulnerabilities be other people’s entertainment. I hardly ever have drama in my life now. My family knows I keep them at arm’s length and don’t ask me many questions anymore. They think that I’m stuck up but that’s not it. I just don’t trust them.

14. I moved to another continent and don’t get involved in the daily chit-chat.

15. I’ll say something like, “Gosh, I don’t think that’s any of my business,” or, “I don’t really know that person, I don’t think I should be hearing this.”

16. Feed them bullshit and see how far it spreads 🤣