So I had a partner today and I gave him head. Each time he’d come close to cumming, I lose it. Like I feel him about to burst but then it goes back down.
I need tips on how to get a guy to finish. I never really got a dude off with a blowjob before since my past partners prefer dinishing inside or grinding in my hand on top of me.
Im extremely embarrassed I couldn’t get him to finish after an hour and want to do better next time. I think a factor is wjen he’s close, he wants me to go faster but honestly it hurts my arm and jaw.
32 comments
Do you use your hands?
First, make sure you have enough drool to use as lube. Use your hand to stroke the shaft while you use your tongue to run along underneath his head while you’re sucking. The underside of the head closer to where the head connects to the shaft is the sweet spot. Get a steady rhythm going and if you notice he’s really feeling it, do NOT change course! Keep sucking and stroking at the same pace, but start making noises to show you’re loving having his hard cock in your mouth. The mix of tongue, stroking, and enthusiastic noises will make sure you get a huge load in your mouth as much as you like! 😁💖
I’m the same way. I’ve only cum from head once, and I had to take control and use my wife’s mouth like I would otherwise. She gives epic head, but I have some sort of mental block that keeps me from finishing. I get *this* close, and then lose it. I think it’s pretty common.
Was it after you guys were drinking or smoking weed or anything? This happens to me sometimes, especially after I’ve been drinking or smoking a little. Used to be a hang up for my partner because she thought she wasn’t doing a good job or thought I didn’t like it.
It may not be you at all, I have to be “in the right mood” to cum from a blowjob. But I can tell you what usually does it for me is when there is ball play involved (gently holding/caressing the as she blows me and/or her gently sucking on them or taking them into her mouth while she uses her hand on my dick). There is a up side too, if you can get him close then you can just edge him for a while before sex, and that will send him into orbit when he finally cums. (At least it does for me)
Tickle the base of his scrotum and/or massage the balls. It’s different for everyone but for me, I could get head for hours and not cum unless my balls are getting some attention to.
Lube up a finger and slip it on while you blow him
perhaps he doesnt want you to go faster but instead keep the rhythmn just do it more “passionately” if that makes sense. Ive been with girls who try to go fast but just end up causing me pain as they arent skilled while going fast and usually use teeth or lose the rythmn!
Have you tried asking him what you could do better? Or asking him what feels good in the moment? Different guys will enjoy different things when it comes to blowjobs. You could try a bunch of different things that we suggest in the comments, but above all you need to talk to the person and find out what feels good for them.
Could be the dude is enjoying it and holding back. Sounds to me like you have the makings of an edging queen, most of us experienced dudes love that.
You need to talk to him about it and learn from this experience.
God I sound like a fucking pimp and I haven’t been laid since before Covid. LOL
Don’t take it personal. Alot of guys can’t come from blowjobs.
[removed]
That happens to me sometime, it might now be you! Some of us just take longer to get off and those of us that do sometimes have a hard time finishing with blowjobs. Have to be the exact mood for that!
You’re focusing too much on the head. You’re making it numb
Just ask him what works for him.
Cockolate.
Get some chocolate spread and lick and suck it off him
My guess that it’s not you but he probably experienced some sort of mental block or a worry he had about something else. My suggestions would be to distract him from those worries by doing something a little more kinky, lick his balls, massage or lick his taint (if you are ok with that), stop, start giving him a handjob while talking dirty to him, or even titty fuck him. Everyone is different, but these have worked on me in the past.
He just needed the finger to finish…
Doesn’t sound like technique is the problem. There’s a mental block on his part that you need to unlock. Maybe he’s afraid to finish in your mouth/face/hair. Or maybe he’s looking to fuck later and doesn’t want to finish. Either way, he’s going need some verbal encouragement.
“Cum for me. I just love how you blow your load on me”
But…your dirty talk mileage may vary 😉
You mentioned this was your first time in bed with him. Could just be nerves honestly. Don’t overthink it.
Do it again. The first few times I blew my boyfriend he was nervous about it. I just listened to him when he was ready to stop and do something different, reassured him, and tried again another day.
Let him take control when he gets close. I can easily get my husband off all on my own BUT, if takes my head or grabs my hair then fucks my face, he finishes FAST lol. I’ll usually grab his ass cheeks shove him more into me..He will avoid doing it if he wants head for longer than 2 mins, lol. He purposely will wait until the end to do it if he does. If your man happens to need to do this to finish, don’t be disappointed. It could be a control thing. Youre saying he wants faster so let him set the pace when hes close to finishing. So when he gets close just tell him “now fuck my face”, or “please fuck my face”, or just “fuck my face.”
Use your hands too to give yourself a break if you need to. Try mutual masterbation to see how he jerks himself so you can mimick.
Position yourself to be sexually attractive & confident. If you’re on your knees, once you start, pull down your shirt to show your breasts. Purposely make them bounce or jiggle(looking natural, of course, not forced). If you’re laying down on the bed on your stomach, prop your booty up, bend the knees so your legs are up, and you can even cross your legs. Eye contact is a MUST. Let him KNOW you’re getting off pleasuring him. Moan. Slap yourself with it, your tongue, breasts, whatever.
Look up & watch as many videos & on how to give the best blow jobs. Read articles.
Your mouth and arm will get stronger and less tired the more you do it, don’t worry.
Last but not least, communication. Talk to him. Find out what he likes about it or what he doesn’t. Let him know you’re determined to finish the job.
Practice makes perfect. You got this. Do not beat yourself up or feel embarrassed. It’s not a skill you learn in one night, and each guy is different.
I’ve never cum from a BJ. So please don’t think its something you arent doing right, or a skill problem on your end.
Same thing happened, so we ended up having sex and my BF reached out afterwards as if to shake my hand…I was like wtf is that? Who does that?
We are from different countries and he said in his country it’s normal, like a high five or a hand shake.
But I never ever experienced that…like he couldn’t finish via blow job, he said he couldn’t relax (and he has a business meeting he was late for already), so he finished via sex, but a handshake?
[removed]
Most guys don’t cum from blowjobs alone so I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it
Don’t assume it’s you. It can sometimes be hard for a guy to finish that way. Gets distracted by what he is seeing etc. it doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoying it though.
Best handjobs use mouth, best blowjobs use hands.
Some of us guys really just can’t, but it’s really ok – it’s genuinely not you, it’s him. Just the way he’s built.
I have the same problem, my gf is very insistent that this happen. So this is gonna sound like tmi but here goes. She asked if I manually did the deed and finished in Her mouth. Her thinking is it may help and can’t hurt. Still working on that but OMG what a feeling, very intense!!!!
So my husband said he couldn’t cum from head. It used to bug me because I am so big on giving it as I enjoy watching him enjoy it. I’ve got him there about 5 times in 5 years lol. He also doesn’t really cum when I’m on top either. It’s a control thing. He loves watching me work, loves watching me enjoy myself but he likes to be the one in control to finish. From my understanding a lot and I mean A LOT of penis having folks are the same!
You can be the greatest in the world but if it’s a mental thing or a control thing you just won’t be able to and that’s not on you and it’s not a bad thing! Embrace what he likes and embrace what you like and go from there!
Don’t feel bad at all as many guys cannot get off on BJs. You said it felt like you got close, so that seems like a good thing. I cannot even get close to cumming from BJs, so that would be a huge win in my book. It could be he has to figure out how to get over the top if he was almost there. It could be a mental thing or even a physical one (like he masturbates too much).
The thing that works best on me is a slow build and a lot of consistency, using both hands and mouth. So start off very gently and slowly with the hands, and as it starts to get hard VERY gradually add some pressure, some mouth, some speed. But be *consistent*. Add very slowly but then don’t take away. At some point you have a moderate pace going with one hand and a mouth on the dick, and the other hand rubbing the balls. Keep that going until the orgasm starts to build and even then, add speed *gradually* until he pops.