I was very emotional when I joined this new company a few months ago, when I was appealed to a coworker \[28 F\] sitting nearby. I just could not talk normally with her and messed up a few times (I have no experience in dealing with crush since the middle school). Gradually, I become fear of dealing with her and keep distance from her.
The team goes out for lunch quite often, so naturally it becomes clearer to others \[26-30, M&F\] that I am behaving awkwardly in front of her. They should also be aware of my unstable emotion. At least I have a few nice conversations with them so it should be alright at this moment.
But if the situation goes on, I am quite sure harmony will break. I feel more and more frustrated. I cannot think of any good moves that can stop it from happening. I have no good excuses to turn down their invitations and not to mention completely not meeting that coworker.
I understand controlling my emotion is important and I have been learning it, but when I have to deal with the coworkers I just forget everything I have learnt. I also don’t want a lovely workplace becoming so tense because of my silly acts.
I sincerely hope someone could give me a suggestion so that I will not mess up anymore.
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tl;dr: Because of my fluctuating emotion, the air gets obviously embarrassing when a colleague \[28 F\] is nearby. All the teammates have sensed that and I become more awkward and I can only keep myself quiet when we go out for lunch. I think it won’t work forever, but I don’t have the clear mind now to deal with it.
2 comments
Don’t act like a creep at work. At this rate, you’re going to get fired.
It sounds like you would benefit from an outside unbiased professional who could give you coping skills on how to deal with your emotions and teach you healthy interpersonal relationship skills