Why is it seen as weak for men to seek help?

27 comments

1. I go to therapy and im not weak. I think that it takes a particularly strong man to admit when he needs help.

2. Women : I want a man who’s sensitive and in touch with his feelings.

   Also women: Don’t be such a little bitch! Are you a man or not?

   Repeat until we die. The end.

3. Because men are expected to solve their own problems. The exception being seeking out the help of a more qualified man or close friend.

4. It doesn’t matter what people “see” you as. That’s their own shit.

   Take the very best care of yourself and your mental well being. If someone thinks less of you for that, cut them out of your life. Even if it’s a woman. Put yourself first.

5. Because male gender expectations are still firmly in place and they basically say men’s role in society is utilitarian. Weak men are simply useless to the government, industry and women.

6. Because help rarely shows up, much less actually help. My dad always said the cavalry wasn’t coming. You have to find or fight your own way out of a foxhole. So far in my experience, he’s not been wrong.

7. Men in this society are valued for capability, reliability and durability. Anything that threatens their productivity, or could render them a liability rather than an asset in any given situation makes them widely considered to be worthless.

   Seeking help means the you have a problem and are unable to provide in some way (emotionally, physically, mentally), thus making you seem weak to society.

   When it comes down to it, they say it because it sounds good, but it doesn’t mean they actually mean it.

8. Because a man who can solve his own problems is a man who is seen as strong and reliable.

   It’s not so much that other men are weak. they’re just not as strong as the man who doesnt have to seek help.

   However… This is only true if the man doesn’t *need* help. There are too many men out there trying to pretend that everything’s okay. A man who needs help and doesn’t seek help is the weakest in the hierarchy of strength.

   Men who truly don’t need help often have support systems such as a strong tight knit family and really good friend groups. Those things in and of themselves will make the man appear strong in a lot of situations such as raising children, dealing with stress/trauma and solving problems by committee.

9. Men are supposed to help women, a man that needs help can’t help a woman and therefore with no value.
   That’S the thinking i guess.

10. Misandry

11. Because nobody gives a fuck about men. Nobody gives a fuck about our problems, nobody gives a fuck about our mental health, *nobody gives a fuck*. We are blamed for everything yet also expected to be level-headed emotionless providers. Our societal value is tied explicitly to what we can provide and whether or not we “are men” whatever the fuck that even means anymore. We’re expected to grin, bear it, and shove down every emotion that isn’t anger, to the point where people in general don’t even seem to *entertain* the idea that *maybe* men *also* need help sometimes. This is an annoying attitude when coming from women, it’s *infuriating* when coming from other men.

12. I gave this same answer to a similar question the inherent day.

    Men are taught that the only feelings that we are allowed to have are anger and happiness… all others are signs of “weakness” “un-manly.”

13. Stop caring so much what women think

14. Because as a man, everything that happens to u is ur fault, so crying about how weak you are speaks volumes about ur mental resilience, ur status and ur manhood.

    If u have an objective problem, it s ok, ask for help. But being a loser in every way, due to ur actions, and then going to females saying “ohh im sad, can u not depend on me, and cry w me bc i dont really wanna solve my problems” is gay af.

    Go cry in silence, go talk to friends or doctors, but when u have to perform and provide, being “weak” is not an option. It s not about seeming weak, it s an indicator u *are* weak.

    Wtf u mean therapy? Do u need someone to tell u to stop being sad? It s bs, but it s ok for women bc women arent men. The most important quality of a man is exactly being strong physically and mentally, so if u lose that, u admit u re a weak female

15. Because that’s the definition of weakness. It’s linguistics.

    Strength is being able to do hard things. If you can’t do the hard things then you are not strong. Weakness is the state of not being strong.

16. Because our society has ingrained misandry within it and one of the ways it hates men is by expecting us to solve our problems on our own.

17. Men are supposed to be strong, keep their problems to themselves. If men have problems they can’t deal with, how are they going to be able to handle their wife’s problems, or their children’s problems? Men are expected to have all the answers. That’s why a man who cannot deal with his problems is seen as a liability.

    I’m not saying it’s right, but that’s the way it is.

18. I tried therapy once. I was as honest as I’ve probably ever been with anyone but still held back my true thoughts and feelings a bit. The therapist was a woman. I answered her questions and talked to her for a while. By the time I left she had started crying.

19. Men are expected to BE the help/solution.

20. Just surround yourself with less shitty people. Anytime I’ve brought up going to therapy around friends/coworkers/etc, I’ve always gotten post I’ve feedback.

21. I don’t think this is universally true. Seeking help for something you know you need help with is very well accepted. You’re confusing seeking help with waiting until help seeks you. Men are expected to take initiative, even in their darkest moments to take steps to move forward.

22. “They would rather see me die, than watch me fall off my white horse” I forget where I heard that, but it describes all the men in my life
    I have noticed with men who are true friends; we build each other up when we can. But sometimes, we all have the same problem and it becomes more commiserating than help.

23. Because no one cares. People say they do but very few, if any, actually do. So even if you’re willing to risk the possible humiliation of seeking help, what’s the point? No one wants to be burdened by you. Some people even become offended that you would dare burden them with your weakness. So where’s the upside to looking for help?

24. Seen as weak by who?

    I don’t care what those people think. I’ll just be happy instead of worrying what those people think of me.

25. Women call us weak for asking for help as a way to keep us entrenched in gender roles

26. Seen as weak, no. Treated as weak, yes.

27. In my experience with ex gfs once they see what they’d class as “weakness” they see you on a different light, usually negatively. An ex gf left me for the way I was handling my grand mother’s death, I cried at her funeral and she said I’m not the man she thought i was. Another ex left me after she hounded me to open up and be more emotional with her then couldn’t accept it. I opened up told her what was bothering me and what I was dealing with, she got upset which ended in me trying to console her about how my feelings made her feel, like wtf.
    So from my experience women (I know not all women but still) play a huge part in it.