I met this guy today at a subway station and we were hitting it off and we exchanged contact. I got home a few hours ago and we were texting and chitchating. Things were going well and we were planning on going on dates sometimes soon.

After a while, he asked me which subway station I live nearby and if I live far from it, I told him the station and the street I lived on, which in hindsight I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to tell him that. Questions from him started to get weird and he texted me saying that he’s nearby and asking me if I wanna come out and make out with him.

I was really weirded out. I told him why didn’t he tell me so we could’ve planned this but he responded with “oh I don’t see why this is a big deal blablablah.” I told him it’s kinda weird to show up unannounced near a girl’s apartment who you’ve just met today, and to my surprise he literally said that this is such an asian woman mindset and I was like wtf is that supposed to mean?! He just kept on blabbing about how it was weird of ME to make it such a big deal. He still asked me if I’m coming out after all that, and I was genuinely a little concerned for a second and I stopped replying.

It might’ve been the fact that I’m little tired rn but I literally started to ask myself am I actually making it a big deal or he’s just gaslighting me. I thought things were going so well but he just pulled this out of nowhere and I don’t know if I should still talk to him.

Any advices?

41 comments

  1. Block number and have a friend stay with you for a couple days. This guy is not gonna stop till someone stops him. Sorry you found a hairless neck beard in the wild. Please stay safe

  2. This guy is ridiculous. He’s trying to manipulate you, and it’s kinda working cause you’re already questioning yourself.

    Why do you think you should keep talking to him? Do you want to have someone in your life who makes you feel like this? Do you deserve or need that? Do you owe him something?

  6. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a stranger knowing my neighborhood either… he’s out of line for even pursuing that information. Idk what his intentions are, but you definitely have to set boundaries in the future. It can seem harmless to share stuff with someone, but be mindful of how the info can be used against you. Stay safe.

  7. If the fact he showed up UNANNOUNCED at your place after a first meeting wasn’t a huge red flag (it definitely is)…then him flipping around your concern and being uncomfortable (rightfully so) back around on you should be enough to definitely seal off that chapter with him. How gross.

  8. Take the cautious path, cut-off your communication with him, as advise.

    He’s not a kid/teen where his curiosity is getting the better of him, he is old enough to know better why what he did was unacceptable, but the fact he doesn’t see it as another issue. This lead you to think what else he might think is a non-issue?

  11. That’s astoundingly creepy, I’m too hood to tell you how I’d handle it my way but I wouldn’t overlook a police report

  13. This is why Google numbers exist until you weed out the whack jobs. And don’t tell people you just met where you live.

  15. Yea that’s a weirdo for sure. Might wanna cut that short because men(and coming from a man) shouldn’t show up at a woman’s house unannounced especially one he just met.

  16. Omg, creepy! He’s definitely gas lighting. Definitely be careful, serious stalker vibes.

  19. It was simply awkward until he starting insulting and pushing. Then it went to creeper status.

    Block, delete, next.

  21. NOOOO HES GASLIGHTING YOU, also he’s talking to you in an EXTREMELY disrespectful manner and trying to make it seem normal. That’s creepy behaviour and the fact he keeps trying to gaslight you that it’s not, he is BAD BAD news. Stay far away from this guy. And ALSO he thinks he gets just be made out with on demand?? That’s another level to his disrespect, and he even put you down, trying to make you feel bad about who you are as a person. “An Asian girl thing” is a personal attack and a tactic a narcissist would use. Leave this guy alone and keep an eye out for the creep.

  25. document everything. block. delete. you are better off not having any contact with him since you are the type who is vulnerable to this type of dangerous guy. he will find out where you live. you will feel obligated to be polite but don’t. you must change your route/time for a while. go the mall, coffee or something before going straight to the subway. he also insulted your race. in no time you will start making excuses for his gaslighting and stalker activities. he may slide a airpod in your items. yes. he sounds that scary

  26. It’d be one thing if he was like “what a coincidence, I’m at a bar not far from you. If you’re free would you be down to hang out this evening?” But no he literally showed up to your house and them flat out asked to make out with you. Then he doesn’t have enough self awareness to realize how that could come off really creepy. Just block him.

  29. He’s crazy and you need to end communication. When it comes to your safety, you’re never making a big deal!

  30. Unless your willing to still talk to the guy. I’d cutt communication, if he asks why just say it’s because what he did is very unsavoury and puts you at unease as a woman. Everybody’s advice here is a greenlight though, don’t ever be telling anybody where your safe space is. You could be inviting a demon into your home.

  33. You think this is a movie where you meet the love of your life on a subway?

    Subway is literally the only mode of transport that weirdos, criminals and druggies use because they can jump over instead of paying, or because they can’t afford anything else legit.

    And you’re giving info to one because you got rizzed?

    I’d call the cops if you “run into him” outside your apartment.

  35. I’m guessing you’re young. You gave a man you met on the street your number. You gave him your closest train station and the street you live on. Please don’t do that. You could get yourself harmed, or worse.

  36. This is called gaslighting, and he is stalking you. Block him. If he shows up on your street again, take a picture and call the police.

  38. It doesn’t matter what you thought he was, he has shown you who he is. Block him and be prepared for a quick escape if you ever run into him again on the subway.

  39. He went to the subway stop near your house, which is creepy as fuck, and when you raised the issue, he dropped a racial stereotype on you. What more do you need to cut this guy loose and block him? And stop giving strangers your subway stop.

    ETA: be vigilant and have that male friend come over and stay with you. If you keep seeing this guy around, use your head and call 911; don’t keep giving him the benefit of the doubt.

  40. His behavior is racist and gaslighting. Block and run. Simple as that. You’re uncomfortable.

  41. Lots of advice was already given but I want to advice you to arm yourself with something, even if it’s hairspray. The guy sounds crazy enough to me that he will lurk around your area now and trying to meet you one on one again. Be aware of your surroundings and be alert. If you happen to see him in public don’t get yourself lured into another situation, if you are around other women, walk to them and pretend you know them. Absolutely avoid being alone with him. Have your phone ready to alert people and the emergency line. He sounds super unhinged to me. Don’t let him lull you in in person. Whatever he tries to say doesn’t erase the fact he insulted you, stalked you, and gaslit you. He’s dangerous.

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