My partner of four years wants to end things because I have not been doing things with her (I.e. gym, running, etc) so now she’s taken up those hobbies and does them on her own. I tried getting back into those things with her but I think it’s too late. She made new friends via those activities and has a hard time seeing me in the picture anymore. Per her request we went on a break a couple weeks ago so she could be “curious”. I do know she slept someone after going on a break the next day. That didn’t sit right with me so I was fully prepared to be done. When confronted she said she won’t see anyone again but still needs time and space to process.
Recently She said she’s leaning towards breaking up since she feels like I’m not giving her enough time. Not sure what to do here. I feel my heart being ripped out of me. I even mentioned how much I regret not doing things together and would be willing to work on it.
I am willing to put in the work but I think it might be too late at this point. I just feel stuck in a relationship limbo but I also think this is over and everything just sucks. I really think I should call it now and not to let this prolong? But also not sure if I want to be Done. 4.5 years seems like a long time to just throw away. Any advice will be appreciated. We live together and share a dog who I adore.
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>Per her request we went on a break a couple weeks ago so she could be “curious”. I do know she slept someone after going on a break the next day.
Your partner wants to break up so she can pursue this other person. It has literally nothing to do with you not doing her hobbies. That’s just the cover story.
She is cheating on you. You need to wake up and end this.
She slept with someone the day after you went on a break. To me, that shows she’s long gone from a relationship with you. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. Maybe that guy didn’t work out, so now she comes back to you because she doesn’t want to be alone?
I do not think I could personally get over that.
I’m curious though, if she’s not going to let you join in on her gym time and runs now, what does she want you to do with her exactly? And what type of work do you need to be putting in if it’s not just spending more time with her?
She told you that she wants you to do things with her and you don’t. She then cheated on you. There’s not much to discuss here. It’s time to go.
I’m surprised you’re able to get past her sleeping with someone so quickly during your break, BUT I’ve also experienced the desperation of wanting to get back together with someone so badly that you’re willing to overlook glaring red flags.
If she’s “leaning towards breaking up,” it’s already over and she probably wants you to be the one to pull the plug. If you stay together, it’s only a matter of time before one of you grows resentful towards the other. Don’t waste your time.
It’s done. At least for now. Just both of you are afraid to let go. That’s what all the pain is from— you’re both trying to hold onto to something that is supposed to fall apart.
It’s not a bad thing, I think you know that deep down. And you’re probably exhausted from all the back and forth. So, just let go. There will be some sadness, grief, loneliness, etc, but you’ll handle it. You kind of need those feelings sometimes. And they’re intense at first but when you lean into them you’ll find there is a beautiful lesson in it all for you.
But for now, god damn, give yourself some peace and let go of this thing, know what I mean? Don’t even have to push, just let go and it will simply float away.
I think she asked you for a break so that she could go have sex with this other person. Anyone committed to working on things in their own relationship won’t do this because of how much more complicated it makes the relationship with the person they’re already with…. Idk OP, this sounds weird and I think you should look out for yourself at this point.
Got some bad news for you, it’s over. Figure out who is moving where and move on with your life. She is done with you whether she knows it or not, and I believe she does.
You are being manipulated with unlikely excuses. She had this guy in mind all along. Make of this what you will but I would bounce immediately, cut contact completely and allow no disrespect.
She is lieing about not seeing any one else again . Her break and complaint was to have sex with someone so she could tell
Her friends and family yiu were on a break . If she loved you and cared do you tho k she having sex the next day . You are her safety blanket and meal
Ticket . She is settling for you . Just leave . Go to a therapist .
If she cared sex the next day doesn’t show . Have self love and show her you deserve better and leave or kick her out etc