I just can’t seem to keep anyone in my life. I have yet again a new group of friends and it’s starting to, yet again, feel like I’m losing this group’s interest as well. I’m so boring. I hardly participate in the group chat because I feel like I’ll get treated not as well as the others and/or because I just don’t have anything smart/funny to say or add. That I have no value because I can’t contribute whatsoever. I feel I need to cut my losses because one of them only really reaches out to get rides from me. And the others, I just think I’m only still in the chat because it’s just there. Because they mostly talk to each other and support each other. I don’t feel supported or reached out to at all. I feel so forgotten. And I try my best to be nice but maybe that makes me forgettable too because I don’t know who I am. Or I try to reach out but everything feels different. As if the more they’ve gotten to know me, the less interested in me they are.
It’s bringing up past trauma from a relationship I had where he would also say I was “too good” and implying I was boring. So I’m seeing that reflected with these people because he ended up having people and I can’t seem to find anyone to want to stay. And people leave out of indifference. They just get bored and go about their lives. I’m so stressed but I don’t know how to enjoy myself or what to pursue because it’s almost like I’m just content with being at home scrolling tik tok because it’s less drama and feels safe.
8 comments
Here’s the thing. You feel they think you are boring and your solution is to isolate your self more. Which in turn make you more excluded. If you want a deeper relationship with them you gotta put yourself out there to be rejected. Or maybe accepted! Are you just afraid of being disliked?What makes your friends interesting to you? Why do you hang out with them? What do you guys even have in common? Do you have any hobbies? What do you do in your free time? The answers to questions like these will help you get a good idea of what the problem likely is.
Learn storytelling skills. A good storyteller can make even the most boring thong sound intetesting.
Me too bro
Wanted to ask this question a lot
Well, just from the boring aspect there are a bunch of ways you can start loosening up and creating a less boring mindset. That won’t fix everything, but it’s a start! Here’s something I wrote on that:
#[Fun 101: Into To Life As A FUN Person](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/15xj7g8/fun_101_intro_to_life_as_a_fun_person/)
Hello, I too am boring. I never know what to say. I am now determined to try and be around people anyways because I recognize there are benefits. One thing I have found is that if you try to talk to people, and try to listen to them, then things do go better. There are no guarantees you will ever be popular or anything, but if you don’t want to be boring then you need to go see people and try to be interesting. The thing about trying to be interesting, though, is I believe you also have to be authentic. It is a difficult balance to reach. I would also suggest that the things that genuinely interest you are things that may be interesting to other people. Not always, but you’ve got to try. I think that you can practice socializing and doing things like staying inside at home will not help you in this pursuit. Good luck
I’ll recommend a book by Julia Cameron called The Artist’s Way. I’m working through it myself and for similar reasons
If you’re feeling unloved the best thing you can do is to love! Use your position in the group chat to support other people. Start by parroting what others say and eventually once the love is flowing you’ll find your own voice. Be a good friend to be a good friend.