He cheated on me during the first years of our relationship. I learned about it this month, 3 years later after it was over. He had a friend with benefits for 2 years. We were living in different countries during our relationship. Covid happened and it was difficult to meet. We moved together this year, got married and are expecting a baby. The last 3 years we got to know each other better and became very close. Our relationship was wonderful.
My husband was the one who stopped the relationship. He told me that it was just sex and the girl was a easy way to get what he wanted. She was also just interested in sex. We got fast in a relationship, we didn’t meet very often at first. Of course we started loving each other later, because it takes time to really fall in love for both of us.
Anyway, I am very hurt and even if it was just sex it effects me the same. I am considering giving him a chance, because of our good times together and pregnancy. I know he loves me but it’s difficult to think it was just sex and it lasted 2 years.
Any similar experience or tips?
4 comments
Yes it is possible for a man to have FWBs without falling in love. I have had casual sex with women whose name I forgot after a month of breaking up.
So he is likely telling the truth.
But I find the difference between how men and women perceive cheatinginteresting. If my partner fucks someone else, she would become something filthy and disgusting that I need to wash off of myself as fast as I can. I guess its not same for women if man does not fall in love with other woman
I’ve had sex with plenty of women that I wouldn’t otherwise bother with.
It’s possible. About 17 years ago (well before I met my wife), I had a 6 month arrangement with a FWB, where feelings were not involved on my part. We ended the fling when she caught feelings.
>I am considering giving him a chance, because of our good times together and pregnancy.
This is fine, but I hope the primary reason you’re considering giving him a chance is because he expressed remorse about his actions, empathy for the pain he caused you, and a clear desire and action steps to address your pain and reassure you that he would never do anything like that again.
How did you find out?