Anyone here feel like they don’t have any close friends?

I’m legitimately intrested how many people have a lot, none, or just a few close friendships. I feel like I have relationships resembling close friendships but I don’t consider them so.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a close friendship. I used to frequent multiple friend groups and work hard to keep up multiple friendships. In this last year of high school, I only really talk to my D&D group. while I’m really happy about some aspects of that reality. Like how I’m the leader of the group & how I feel that everyone in the group treats me the best or even preferentially. Yet, I don’t consider any of them great friends.

I find some of them… ^(who am I kidding) pretty much all of them immature despite them being within 2 years of my age. (I’m the oldest) Others are overly rude to other members which drives me crazy. One or two of them almost seem to have a screw loose… With that being said I still love them as people but I don’t think I could ever conceivably tell them any of my issues. Not out of the fear that they wouldn’t accept me, but that they just wouldn’t understand, or be worth my time explaining it to them. I don’t tell anyone about my issues non anonymously.

All this made me wonder if people like me are having similar issues. I see secluded people all the time, but do they really have no one to talk to? I see popular people and feel I’ve been in a similar position, But felt lonelier then I am now.

# (This is not a pity post!)

I’d rather hear your guys stories rather then focus on mine, just wanted to write that down to get it off my chest.