I don’t understand how everyone I know talks so effortlessly and with perfect flow? It’s like they have a constant stream of stories and responses ready to be used whereas I just listen and give the occasionally “yeah”. I have nothing to talk about and everything I say comes off feeling awkward and lame. It doesn’t help that my best friend is incredibly outgoing and can talk/become friends with almost anyone without any fear or hesitation. Im done being the boring and quiet one when everyone around me has all these connections and conversations..
I want to know how it feels to be so extroverted and carefree and talkative like most of the people I know. I want to be able to talk naturally without having to worry about every single detail of what I say.
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I don’t know about you specifically but I think talking to people effectively is a skill you learn through repetition for the most part, just like any other. The less you do it, the worse you are at it and vice versa. Of course there will be some naturally talented people but it’s going to be useless if they don’t practice it.
I am struggling with this too, but not as much as I used to. I overthink all the time in conversations, even when it’s just small talk. What I have learned these past years is that I am able to engage myself in a conversation more naturally and comfortably with people that I feel comfortable with, even though I have only just met them, or don’t know them for long. Maybe you can look for people with which you feel more comfortable with and try to engage with them in conversations without thinking to much about every detail of what you say. When talking to a person you feel comfortable with, you won’t overthink in conversations as much as you think.
Good luck to you and I hope you will overcome your fear and hesitation! 🙂
You don’t *have* to have interesting stories about yourself to talk to someone. It can be helpful but its by no means necessary and probably shouldn’t be the bulk of a conversation anyways. Besides you’d probably be surprised by just how interesting you are to some people. Talk about where you’re from, and people might ask questions about that. from there you can ask questions to someone else.
You’re not alone. I’ve been like this literally my entire life. I often fear I sound disinterested when really I’m just trying to absorb what you’re saying.
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Me personally I’m no introvert but usually what I do in a conversation and how to keep the conversation going and make it more interesting and enjoyable to hear is to ask questions about whatever they’re talking about it for example: friend A is talking about this food place he tried over the weekend. Friend B: asks what else is on the menu. Etc etc, you kinda need to know what words you want to use because you don’t want to end the conversation short. Everyone and I mean everyone likes to talk about themselves and to express themselves to others, it makes them feel good about themselves and think others are interested in them. Hopefully this helps you out
I also struggle with this.. I feel exactly the same. Though if you have true friends, anything that comes out of your mouth would also be a delight for them because they love YOU and YOUR company. Though I’m like this, I’ve found some great friends who even in my awkwardness, still love me for who I am. By no means am I restricting you to improve on yourself, go ahead! I’m also on my own self-discovery journey also and boy.. it’s lonely & hard. I wish our generation was more open about this publicly. I wish we didn’t have to hide all of our pain away just for the sake of fitting into societal norms. You got this though! Don’t let your anxiety cram those fake thoughts into your head. NOBODY knows what they’re doing.
Yeah I am the same way .it’s not that I am totally interested in what they have to say but more like I’m worried about what I say is going to seem silly or ignorant to them so I overthink it until they are already moving on with the conversation before I can say anything idk