Hi, so basically I’ve (F 24) seen this guy (M 24) a couple of times only. We’ve been speaking since the beginning of the year though so we’re somewhat close. I recently ended our dating relationship though as I felt we lacked compatibility but I enjoyed sex with him so wanted to maintain the sexual side of things even if we’re not dating any more.
Any way, here’s the issue. The last time we had sex I wanted to orgasm first (orgasm gap and all) as I find I usually focus on the man in sex and I end up not cumming. He was pleasuring me and I was enjoying it, and then he randomly stopped. I asked if everything was good and he said that it’s his turn now and that i’m being selfish etc as I haven’t even tried to blow him off yet. I was a little irritated but I thought ok maybe i’m being selfish, I’ll give him what he wants and then we’ll get back to me, right? Nope, after he came he told me he was too tired, so I started finishing myself off and he got in a mood about it saying I was suggesting he “couldn’t satisfy me” by masturbating right next to him. (Sir, you said you were tired?!)
Any way, I was at his the whole weekend so we tried just light foreplay again after a night out. No sex, but once again he came and was “too tired” to do anything else after, frustrating me.
I called him during that week basically explaining that we should both be getting pleasure out of the experience. He basically said he finds sex with me boring because I just lay there (I have tried getting on top before but it didn’t really work out and he just told me to switch back to missionary). I get that the same sex position gets repetitive and I was willing to work on that and be a better sexual partner. But we just had a phone call right now where he basically “jokingly” said that this week when I come and see him if I’m planning on “just lying there” I should stay at home. It just really rubbed me the wrong way and made me wanna cry tbh. I’ve tried my best to make this guy cum and have made him cum in other ways numerous times. (I can never usually make men cum from handjobs but i’ve made him cum from a hand job alone twice, he’s not made me cum once!)
So I suppose the question here is: is there any way of resolving this, or is he just bored of me and I should move on? The whole thing has made me feel so insecure and embarrassed about sex…
24 comments
He sounds like a bad sexual partner; but possibly you can do better as well. Hard to tell without knowing specifics.
Are you giving him blowjobs?
Have you tried doggystyle?
There is one position i love, the girl on top of me but she’s facing up laying on me. As a man you have full acces to everything, you can play with her tits but most importantly, you can play with her pussy while you are fucking her.
Another position i like is both of us laying on our sides and fucking her from behind (not anal, but i’m behind her) This position is ideal as none of the 2 will get tired mantaining the position as both of you are lying in bed.
sounds to me like HES the selfish one. he sounds like a prick. he has no interest in making you get off, but makes you pleasure him til he’s satisfied?? nahhh. this isn’t a you problem, it’s a him problem.
Why are you still seeing him if he makes you feel like shit?
This guy is a tool. Time to move on and don’t look back.
Grant his wish and stay at home.
A man that won’t take care of your needs first is a lousy lover and always will be.
Don’t give him the time of day.
Go find someone who isn’t selfish and will make your toes curl.
He’s using you and hoping that you will tolerate it. If he wasn’t he would be prepared to discuss it, to change the approach from time-to-time while sticking to the objective of you both orgasming. Being all taking and not giving has no future. He’ll already be thinking of his next victim.
Tell him that you’ll try something else as soon as he tries something else than not satisfying and not making you cum.
You are not the problem. This guy is a horrible partner. Find someone who cares about your pleasure, too.
Stop fucking this fool. Imagine tying yourself in knots to sexually please a man that’s not even dating you. Girl…there is nothing to be gained here. Block him and find a good therapist to work on self-respect and boundaries, cause nothing this guy said or did should have passed the sniff test.
He is a selfish lover…. He does not put you first. Find a compatible lover . This will not change .
I always put the woman first… I find it a challenge to try and make her come…
I’m a sexual being… I love mutual masterbation and when a girlfriend masterbates next to me, especially if she just focused on me.
We are out there .
The best sex is when you focus on your lover to come… With mutual effort and attention.
Lol tell him he doesn’t have the skill to rev u up enough to get crazy.
Tell him he will get better with experience. Following tell not to feel bad you don’t mind closing you eyes and finishing the job while he rests.
What a tool. Don’t even waste your effort. Any man who isn’t equally or more so interested in fulfilling you sexually needs to be put on the road. I’d rather use my vibrator!
Don’t go out with him. Any man that thinks getting you there is selfish…please respect yourself better. He’s lazy.
He can go kick rocks! You deserve better!
He’s what you call a bad lover.
Apply your sound logic you applied to the rest of the relationship my friend.
Find another partner
Not one single comment addressing the fact that she broke off their dating relationship before this started happening???
What was your sex like before you told him you didn’t want to date romantically anymore? I’m assuming it was good since you said you enjoyed sex with him and wanted to continue your sexual relationship. So how does he feel about that? Someone mentioned he’s using you, but sounds more to me like you’re using him. And he’s mad about it but continues having sex with you because he didn’t want to break up. So him using you for sex instead is his way of getting back at you, or a way of continuing some sort of a relationship with you but protecting himself.
Seriously, no one else sees this side of it?
Maybe he is insecure because you ended your dating relationship and felt you lacked compatibility but still wanted sex.
DojaSnack..
Move on. He is an idiot.
Boy here. Rule number one is that ladies come first.
Boy comes second. The obvs reason being that the boy will be out of action for a while
Rule 2. As a boy you do not EVER complain in crude language about how girl is unresponsive etc blah blah. She is most likely “unresponsive” because you are making her feel that way.
You have tried your best. No you should absolutely NOT feel insecure and embarrassed about sex.
You deserve much better.
XXXX
Please, move on! Clearly he doesn’t want to have sex with you. It’s not you. It’s definitely him. Sometimes we just aren’t compatible. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Find someone new. He is not worth the trouble.
Get a new man i say