I know. Usually it’s not and it’s best to move on as quickly as possible.
However this is a case where she was initially very attracted to me and I screwed things up by acting clingy and unreliable.
We only went on one date, where I set a bad first impression. We had great chemistry, interests, and a ton of other similarities otherwise.
It’s been 2 months since I talked to her last and I’m wondering if it’s possible for me to start things up again? Is this possible or am I just out of luck?
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Sorry time to move on. First impressions is a huge thing. It’s also been two months with no contacts would be weird to try and reconnect after two months of silence
If you gave her the ick on the first date it’s probably not going to happen.
Why the fuck would you even want that? Like explain.
I wouldnt want to be with someone who didnt want to be with me since day one, or rejected me.
Unfortunately, women are very fickle and first-impressionists to a large degree. And the lower the first impression, the more work you have to do to win them over.
What I’ve found is that no matter what, your initial impression with a woman needs to be as high as possible because they will forever judge you from that moment. And this is why so often, men become huge disappointments to them in dating. And you’ll see women writing threads on Reddit that sound like: “Why do men stop chasing me after only 3 dates?”
What they’re saying is “why do men suddenly put in half the effort or no effort after they slept with me.” The problem is that women tend to have super irrational expectations for how a man should court and treat them at the beginning of an interaction and dating. You can’t be too clingy or too distant or too dramatic or too boring or too mean or too nice or too…
Get the picture? They want you to adapt to their expectations of how they want to be treated, but you have to do so without them telling you and you just have to guess correctly. And then keep that guessing until the end of time.
That’s “chemistry” in their mind. I hate to sound so jaded, but this is why so many men have given up dating. Even when you do find a girl with that you happen to find similar attraction and early “chemistry,” the vibes typically don’t last and they’ll one day be looking around their social circles to fill the void of expectation that lingers on.
It’s irrational behavior at best. But it is unfortunately how most women go about dating and relationships. So once you make even the simplest of mistakes early on, they forever associate you as not living up to their expectations. They move on very quickly because they “deserve a man who will go the distance.”
What they’ll find is a high probability of misery with someone who just kept up appearances better earlier and for a little longer. And they’ll end up in the same spot – with unrealistic expectations and recurring disappointment.
So don’t beat yourself up. You did nothing wrong.
Is she the only woman in the world?
I’m currently seeing a girl for like the fourth try at making things work. Multiple chances are definitely possible when there’s mutual interest but if you gave her “the ick” (sounds probable) then it’s likely not going to happen.
Oh if you were the one who guy dumped then I would leave the ball in her court
Focus on building your life and dreams and working on yourself daily first. Only you can reject yourself