Hello everyone,
I’m reaching out to this forum in search of some guidance and insights into a situation with my girlfriend and our intimate life together. My girlfriend has mentioned to me that she’s never reached an orgasm, even by herself. While part of me wonders if this might be due to her not wanting to share certain personal details (considering the strict upbringing prevalent in some parts of Asia), I want to respect her words and feelings on the matter.
We’ve tried a variety of methods to help her relax and experience this. We’ve experimented with toys like the Satisfyer, even tried using mushrooms to create a more relaxed ambiance, and of course, I’ve tried to be attentive with my hands, tongue, etc. The recurring scenario, however, is that she seems to get to the brink of climax but always pulls back. It appears as if she’s apprehensive or fearful of the sensations and what might follow. In one instance, she expressed concern about the possibility of squirting. Although I reassured her that I’m perfectly fine with whatever happens, she still hesitates.
This situation is starting to weigh on me. While she doesn’t vocalize any complaints and seems content, I can’t help but feel a sense of responsibility and sadness that she isn’t able to fully experience this aspect of our relationship. It somewhat diminishes the joy of our intimate moments for me.
I wonder if this might be related to cultural factors, her upbringing, or potentially some past experiences. For the record, she doesn’t come across as being sexually repressed in any way.
I genuinely want to help her feel safe, comfortable, and free to experience pleasure without reservations. I’m hoping for advice, insights, or any shared experiences from those who might have encountered a similar situation. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
3 comments
Dude. Don’t do what I did. You both need to sit down, and find out what works and ultimately what you both would enjoy. If there’s no frame work set in place ,so to speak , then build that frame work. Experiment and find what tickles her fancy. I through process of elimination found (what I thought worked for my wife) but I NEVER spoke to her about it. I just assumed. Kind of dumb on my part. Well tonight, I started that process. And we will speak tomorrow ( so wish me luck) I waited 10 years to do so . My wife is a saint to say the least. Hope this works out for you.. Cheers. AC
How ever the convo goes bro.. that’s on you. I’m only leading you to the water, I can’t make you drink. Find your flow, be open minded , but overall keep her best interests and wants in mind. go from there. You can do this, I have faith. Cheers. AC
It’s unfortunately not that uncommon. I am an American woman who grew up pretty open about sex and my body (so not just a cultural thing) and I have also never orgasmed. It’s worthwhile to try and explore new things, but the most important thing is to make sure she is relaxed and doesn’t feel pressured to come. That just makes it harder from what I’ve read. Also, she can still enjoy sex without climax.
If she wants she could talk to her doctor and see if there is some sort of medical intervention she could try, but in the end, focus on having fun, not reaching a goal.