I 23 F want to go to a bar alone in my town for a show this weekend and I just need some advice from people who have been in my shoes…guys have you approached any girls alone at the bar or have you approached them?

34 comments

  2. So what is the reason you’re asking this question? Is it because you want to be approached or you don’t want to be approached? But yeah I would say a lot of men would approach a woman alone in a bar

  3. It’s not weird. I did it a couple times for themed dance and music nights and was approached once. The bartender kept giving me a ton of shots for free and the door bouncers were always checking in on me. I had a fun time. Just be careful.

  5. I went to a gay bar that hosted drag shows once when my room mate was out of town and my friends weren’t available. Only I didn’t want to get hit on (by straight men anyway). Just wanted to dance, watch the show and drink with a lower (but not zero) chance of getting roofied or groped. I had a good time and met some cool people.

    Going to a bar with a lot of guys yes you as single woman will be a lot less intimidating and probably will get approached. Be careful cause it can make you an easier target to have someone slip something in your drink or walk away with you somewhere if you get too drunk. You won’t have friends to bail you out if something goes wrong.

    So if you do go watch your drink, watch how much you drink and if some dude gets pushy ask for help.

  6. Not weird at all, but be very careful with your drinks, watch out for anyone trying to spike it, if you’re on your own best not to drink much, also be alert who is around when leaving the bar

  8. I did this and do this from time to time. Even now that I’m married, I’ll have a fruity cocktail and read a chapter of some book or watch whatever game is on. I usually have my headphones on and my ring is a quick deterrent so if you want to be left alone just slip on a ring, if you want to be approached – stay present and watch the room or the tvs, smile at people and give off an approachable vibe. But me? I love the anonymity. I don’t have to chat or rehash my long day, I just zone out in a fun social setting. Everyone’s always super cool about it and the more I do it the more I see other confident, happy women comfortably dining or seeing movies alone. Good luck!

  9. Not weird just be VERY careful! Keep your wits about you and have situational awareness. Best not to drink alcohol or other substances, guard your drink at all times, and be careful when leaving. I’ve done it many times over the years for shows I want to see that no one else I know can go, and it’s always been great as long as your guard is up

  10. You should definitely go and enjoy yourself there is nothing wrong with going alone at all.

    Sadly in this day and age please keep safe and let people know where you are when you’ll be home etc maybe take some kind of protection with you (pepper spray or an alarm just in case).

  12. Not weird at all. You just need to be very careful especially with receiving drinks from anyone or leaving the place with someone. You wouldn’t want to end up in the morning news as the woman who got her organs harvested or as the latest victim of gang r#pe.

  13. One thing for sure, I don’t approach girls when they have friends with them.

    Alone? Yeah I would try if I make my mind up.

  15. I don’t think it’s weird. I’ve spent most of my life in bars and I see both women and men alone in them all the time.

    You’ll most likely get approached, most bars are full of friendly regulars who get excited to see a new face. Whenever I see an unfamiliar place at one of my go-to bars I always make a point to go out of my way to approach them and introduce myself and get to know them.

    But if someone is clearly giving off “I’m just here to be alone. Don’t approach me vibes.” then I’ll respect that.

    I did notice you gendered your question, specifically asking guys if they’re willing to approach a woman alone in a bar. As far as that’s concerned, if you’re trying to meet a guy for a relationship or pick someone up just for sex then I recommend just approaching them instead of just waiting around to see if they approach you.

    Edit: To be clear, I’m a guy, and my willingness to approach someone at a bar has nothing to do with their gender. That isn’t true for everyone. Some people go to bars specifically looking for someone to hookup with or date. But I think that’s a young people/immature people thing. The way I see it is, yeah everyone is a potential suitor, but I don’t approach them with that in mind. I just talk to them normally because I’m friendly and if I happen to feel a potential connection deeper than just superficial bar talk then I’ll explore that.

    The whole “going into the interaction trying to date/hookup” gives off this weird vibe that turns me off.

    A lot of other comments are mentioning the obvious safety precautions so I don’t need to harp on that.

  16. Not weird but boomers will come up to you and ask why you’re alone. People our age will be scared for the most part and leave you alone.

  18. This was how I got free drinks when I actually did go to the bar. I also had a ploy that whenever I went with my husband (then boyfriend) we would sit apart for a bit so people didn’t think we were together. Get some nice drinks and then go hang out in the corner together afterward. Saved us a lot of money as I usually ordered beers, so I never had really had to worry about being drugged or roofied or that mess as I liked drinking out cans. If you don’t drink beer, then you’d have to watch out for that behavior.

    Just be sure you don’t get too drunk. Have some form of defense on your person incase you need it. Keep an eye on who you are getting drinks from, and if you can get it sealed, open it yourself and take it with you when you move. Remembering those things will give you many fun and cheap nights.

  19. It’s not weird. It’s unsafe.
    Why go alone? If you do, (I don’t recommend it) stay only for a a short time and let someone know where ur stopping by.
    Do you WANT to get picked up at the bar? Or..

  20. This is a bit dangerous depending on location, but just don’t be stupid, be aware of your surroundings. I used to do this a lot and results varied based on the crowd in the bar at that time. Sometimes people talk to you, sometimes they don’t. I think it’s kinda random

  21. Not weird. I went out alone most of my bar days bc my “friends” always flaked out. I usally danced near other girl groups until I got comfortable on my own. Men have approached me when I’m alone at a bar, most of them take the hint if you aren’t interested. When you are interested I think pursuit is easier bc you don’t have to leave your friends or explain that you’re leaving for whatever reason. Whenever my girls were with me they were almost too protective and scared off people I was interested in. It might also help if you’re feeling anxious about it, that in a large crowd nobody knows you’re alone except you.

  22. I go to bars alone all the time. As long as you have some street smarts, I don’t think it’s significantly more dangerous than a lot of other things you do alone…I wouldn’t go alone to a place I know is in a bad area or has a reputation for having problems.
    To answer your question – Guys don’t approach me every single time…depends on the vibe of the place and my mood. If I do want to be social, I make an effort to make eye contact with people and have a relaxed face so I look approachable (i have a touch of RBF). If I want to be left alone, I just let my RBF handle that and keep to myself.
    Also, befriend the bartenders if they aren’t slammed… they are good to have on your side.

  23. I go to bars alone all the time. As long as you have some street smarts, I don’t think it’s significantly more dangerous than a lot of other things you do alone…I wouldn’t go alone to a place I know is in a bad area or has a reputation for having problems.
    To answer your question – Guys don’t approach me every single time…depends on the vibe of the place and my mood. If I do want to be social, I make an effort to make eye contact with people and have a relaxed face so I look approachable (i have a touch of RBF). If I want to be left alone, I just let my RBF handle that and keep to myself.
    Also, befriend the bartenders if they aren’t slammed… they are good to have on your side.

  24. Not weird but it may feel weird for you especially if you’re a little introverted and aren’t good with having conversations with strangers. You will attract attention as no one really goes out by themselves anymore but be careful some just wanna use you and others just wanna talk

  25. Not weird. Do you want to be approached by a man at the bar? Don’t forget you can also approach the man. A lot of guys won’t approach you even if they want to. I mean If I was at the bar and someone wanted to chat with me I’d be happy.

  27. You guys are saying to be super careful because it’s dangerous…. but like it’s not really like that? It’s a restaurant for Frick’s frick…Just don’t drive home or over consume and there won’t be any issues. It’s a fully grown adult woman.

    There’s that super small chance that someone could get roofied but that is more of a club thing and not so much a local watering hole thing.

    Someone is going to want to talk to her for sure but she can just wear headphones and that will solve that.

    My advice is talk to the bartender. They will be a safe and fun person to talk to and any of the regulars will join in and then you will have a good conversation. It’s a bar, tons of people go there by themselves every day. Have fun. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t let your worry of conversation or roofies ruin your fun.

  28. I’m 22F and what I do is I make it look like I’m waiting for someone to beat the awkwardness, I do this by maybe throwing my purse on the seat next to me. When I do get approached I just say my friend is running a bit late like 20-30 min, and it gives me an out if there’s anyone creepy or I can always say they flaked if the conversation is going well

  29. Keep a hawk eye on your drink- do not leave it alone. Prepare what u want to say if someone gives you unwanted attention to nicely get them off your back. I would typically just sit at the bar and talk to the bartender so atleast they know who I am and typically they will notice if your uncomfortable or not and would help you if you needed it.

    No it’s not weird to go alone to a bar. Just make sure you know how you’re getting home if you do decide to drink. Otherwise don’t get drunk and do not drive under influence. I always have my location shared with friends and family. If you don’t I do suggest you do it with atleast one person you trust in case anything happens.

  30. No not at all. People will approach you! I always make friends with girls in the bathroom and men will approach you if they see you alone. Idk if you smoke anything, but I also tend to make friends smoking weed or cigs outside (you could just hangout outside with a lighter too). Sitting at the bar next to someone usually ends up with me talking to them eventually. People go to the bar to socialize so don’t be afraid to approach people as well! I’m proud of you for your confidence. I went to the bar ALL the time by myself at 23 and that’s how I made a lot of my friends! I also would go to shows by myself and dancing with a good vibe always seems to draw people to you. Being a girl is such a gift lol. You won’t be seen as a creeper all alone, rather as intriguing and mysterious since you’re by yourself. Oh the magic of womanhood.

  31. I went to a female strip club alone as a woman, and I just hung out with the dancers and bar tender all night. It was actually pretty fun and kinda wholesome in a weird way 🤣 once in a lifetime experience for sure. I don’t think I’d try to do it again

  32. Hi! I’ve been to bars and clubs on my own, as a single woman. And people approached me much more than they do regularly. It shows you’re confident and secure with yourself.
    I think you will probably have fun and meet new people when you do decide to try it.

  33. It’s not weird to go if you’re going to see a show. It is weird if you’re going to sit on a stool and drink.

  34. You’ll be fine. It’s normal to go places on your own. Don’t feel like you always need a date or friends to do fun things. Protect your drink and use good judgement with your safety and it’ll be a fun night.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like