I (34f) have been casually dating someone (33m) for a few months, but feel like I might need to break it off due to sexual incompatibility. We haven’t had sex yet, but we’ve messed around. I have given him head a few times and he has gotten me off once with his hand.
We’ve talked about having sex, and the last time he came over he told me that he didn’t want to go down on a woman because he doesn’t feel like he is in ‘control’ which was shocking to hear. Especially because I feel like going down on me means he has a lot of control over my pleasure! His response to why was confusing to say the least and didn’t make sense but it came down to not having control because it was not piv sex.
Has anyone ever been told this by a guy? Do you think it is enough to break off a decent thing that’s been going on? I feel like if we have sex he might be kind of selfish and not care about my pleasure which isn’t a life I want to live!
ETA: Might not be relevant but he is a good guy that I do enjoy spending time with and could see a future with him being fun and adventurous. However, he also recently told me that he believes in double standards because as the man he sacrifices a lot to keep a woman safe and gives up his personal safety for mine (if a situation arose 🤦🏽♀️). With the double standards thing, he said he would rather I not see other guys but he should be able to see this other girl he’s been seeing until he decides he wants to date me exclusively. This made me not want to see him at all but idk what’s going on with men these days and those ideas. Ugh 😩
26 comments
He’s 33. He’s made up his mind. Your pleasure isn’t as important and his weird sense of needing control.
There is no way in hell I’d pursue a relationship with someone who I knew didn’t care about my satisfaction.
You do you.
I’d run
Sounds like he’s making excuses for not liking going down. Either way, that would be a difficult compromise to give up.
Cut bait and find a man who isn’t a baby. This guy needs therapy and to stop hanging out with the douchebros who foster this ridiculous attitude that only a ReAl mAnLy MaN In CoNtRoL aT aLl TimEsEseEz is good at sex. Beyond that, eating somebody out is not relinquishing control. If anything putting your most delicate organ inside a hole full of teeth, some of which are literally called INCISORS, is ceding control. Chomp chomp, dude.
Omg yes I have!! How hard will it be to break it off lol?
Run. Especially because of that edit. YIKES.
He’s bought into some Alpha Male bullshit and this will become evident in other ways too.
Tell him excitedly ‘wow that’s such a coincidence, I will never suck your dick either’
Sorry but I would be like, Next
Personally if never do it either and I’m near 40. HPV risk is too high. I ain’t getting throat cancer.
Yo, the first part was bad enough…but after the edit? He is NOT a good guy. 🙄
>he is a good guy
>he believes in double standards
You’re lying to yourself if you actually believe he’s a good guy. 🤦♀️
I’d have walked away at no oral, it’s my fav way to get off, I don’t cum from PIV. But your edit? Holy hell, absolutely not. I’d not even feel bad walking away from that garbage. He sounds like a relationship with him would be infuriating.
Next please
Sounds like he will make up whatever reasons he thinks sounds good to get what he wants. He might even believe it himself.
He would never go down on a woman? Bet he’s perfectly fine accepting blowjobs. Fuck that guy, he’s a selfish ass! Every woman that gives herself sexually deserves to have her pussy licked like nobodies business. I go down on my wife everytime we have sex, several times a week.
>he didn’t want to go down on a woman because he doesn’t feel like he is in ‘control
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If my wife’s legs are wrapped around my head I have absolute control. Her hips are pinned down and I can flip her over like a rag doll when I want to.
>he said he would rather I not see other guys but he should be able to see this other girl he’s been seeing until he decides he wants to date me exclusively.
🚩🚩🚩Dude is a douche. Run far, run long, run deep.
Guys who don’t like going down on women aren’t straight. If you like pussy so much prove it. 🤷♀️
Idk this sounds a lot like bile that comes out of Andrew Tates mouth….. and im sorry, most of the men ive come across looks at oral as a chance for their favorite snack so idk maybe this guy is just the odd ball out like Dj Khalid
And stories like this is why I’ve always made sure the guy does it first 😇
So not really a potential partner.
Oh no, not the ‘good guy’ comment. Every time.
If you’re sexually incompatible without even really doing much run now. It’s not worth it to continue.
OP…… you buried the lead with that edit.
You’re too old for this fuckery. Move on.
“Don’t see other guys even though I won’t commit to you and won’t please you”
WTF. That feeling really intensified when I read the ETA.
I’m a guy.
What in the fuck is wrong with men?
I would break this off now. He may be a “good guy” but there are great guys out there that will put your pleasure first and not have double standards.
I don’t know if I’m great but I always put my partner first, sexually and in other aspects. Do not settle.
“Life is too short to not get good head. It sounds like we’re not sexually compatible. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
He is a “good guy” how exactly?