I met my husband at work in 2017, we talked very little solely as coworkers but I use to catch him randomly staring at me from afar, often.

In 2019 we started dating after he had another coworker come up to me to tell me that he likes me and liked me for a long time now but apparently was too afraid to say it because I always looked unapproachable.

We exchanged numbers, dated for over a year before moving in together & welcoming our son (which is my second child) together in 2021 then we got married 4 months later – *going ring shopping for our first time together we didn’t expect rings to be THAT expensive, our budget was $600 for mine and $600 for his, getting to the jewelry stores wedding rings were at least $1,500 and up. The rings I was looking at the jeweler told me “I wasn’t getting those type of rings for the amount we had and took us to the rings in our price range” a promise ring as wedding ring. She mentioned we could finance a ring, my husband was willing. I told him “absolutely not, I refuse to go into debt over a ring” so I picked out a $500 promise ring and called it a day. After our court house wedding we managed to save up $16,000 and bought our first home the following year and we gave birth again to a baby girl! Had we financed an expensive ring with interest, our focus would’ve been having to pay that off first instead I chose a home.*

44 comments

  1. A ring is a ring. Try not to buy into commercialized hype and what a store calls things. Congrats on being responsible! This country would be a better place if more people were.

  2. When I bought my engagement ring for my wife I shopped the discount section on one of the major jewelers website, and got a $600 ring for $160. Now my current wedding ring is a $1 ring from Wish and I absolutely love it, it’s been through a lot and I have memories with it. I don’t think I’d ever get rid of it.

    The ring is just a symbol of your marriage, it doesn’t matter what it’s made of. And I wish more people thought like you OP, and prioritized progression with their spouse over flashy jewelry.

  3. I’m never going to tell anyone how cheap my wedding ring for my wife was. We were so poor though. What’s funny is that one day she broke the ring and felt really bad and I told her it’s not worth worrying about so she has an idea it was cheap but she doesn’t actually mind haha

  5. So agree with this, we spent $500 on my ring and my main stone is a Morganite, not a diamond. We also got eloped after looking into wedding venues because we just couldn’t fathom spending that type of money or any family helping put in for it. Best decision, we have zero regrets about it.

  6. A ring is a symbol more than anything. My ring 33/m cost about $250. But my wife’s I spent about $3500 on.

    I wish I would have spent less because she’s too afraid to wear it outside of the house and damage it or lose a piece of it lol

  7. Its a ring, and it was acquired to memorialize your wedding, thus its an “actual wedding ring”

    It doesnt have to look or cost what people claim it should to serve its purpose.

    Also, owning your own home is so much better than an expensive piece of jewelry. Its also a decision that is likely to lead to wealth building in the long term so you can actually afford an expensive piece of jewelry later in life, should you want to buy it.

  8. Why even buy rings? Seriously. I’m engaged and the thought of getting a ring never even entered my mind.

  9. I think my ring costs $250 or something, along with my husband, but we barely wear even that cause our jobs, his has machinery work that can be a probably and I am in the food so I was concerned about washing hands. In the end we barely even wear that much and using our rubber rings we got for everyday use.

  11. I love everything about this post. It’s people like you who are in the relationship for all the right reasons, because you love someone and want to be with them. I hope you have the happiest and most full life together!

  12. I’m with you all the way! We did our marriage with two $40 simple Walmart rings. Later my husband kept trying to buy me a diamond (what a scam.) But he decided to agree on what I really wanted, a $75 Arizonan Moissanite (this was before everyone else knew how cool, rare, blah blah blah they are. I’m a nerd and wanted a star rock. Now the stupid rocks are jacked up in price.)

    We did a courthouse wedding too. $100. Signed, witnessed, done and back to work. The downside was all the flack we got from family and friends. A lot of people were pissed off we didn’t throw ourselves into debt to throw THEM a fancy expensive experience party. We have continued to maintain that if at any point they all want to pony up that 50 grand + for their vision of our wedding, we’ll happily dress up and dance around like the dolly puppets they want for 6 hours. But until then we’re not going into wedded debt for them. Nobody’s taken up the compromise in 20 years.

  13. The wedding diamond origins are a marketing campaign initiated by DeBeers and others of the diamond industry in the 30’s. It is a manufactured tradition.

    Read “The Gift of the Magi” by the American writer O. Henry (his pen name), his given name was William Sydney Porter. This story is lovely!

    Congratulations on your wedding. I hope you are both happy and prosperous for many, many years!

  14. I’m sure your promise/wedding rings was just as beautiful as what is already out there! I would love to see a picture of it if you have one available.

    I got married in 2017 and used a placeholder cz/sterling silver ring. We had a courthouse wedding. In Christmas 2021, my husband gifted me what is my engagement ring of my dreams in diamonds and platinum (from Costco!) in October 2022, we finally had our honeymoon.

    There is no shame in straying from societal constructs as long as you and your partner are happy!

  16. Been married almost 19 years and we started with a $30 ring and moved up to a $350 ring. House is almost paid off and she accepts me. That means more than a ring

  17. When I got engaged (with a dainty and untraditional sapphire cluster ring) a client asked me if it was a “promise ring.” Any ring you use to get engaged is an engagement ring!

  18. Is that your ring? I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think it’s very pretty!

  20. You are married, the ring is just a piece of jewelry. Most of the time I wear a plain silver band we got at James Avery because it is more comfortable. It’s been 18 years and the solitaire that we shopped all over town for is usually in a drawer. He remembers my favorite cookies, gives me a kiss on the forehead before he leaves for work and is the best daddy ever. My ring has nothing to do with any of that.

  22. This definitely adds a different perspective to the whole “we can’t get married because I can’t afford a ring and a $25k wedding yet” ~~dilemma~~ nonsense…..

    Good for you, OP 🙂

  23. I wear a $20 silicone ring and my wife has a ring with a man made diamond that was cheaper than a natural. It doesn’t matter what it costs and if it does you need to re-examine your thought process on marriage.

  25. My father gave my mother a cut glass “diamond” when they got engaged, and she wore it all of her life despite the fact he later gave her an expensive, real diamond ring. When she died the rock of her first ring looked like beach glass. It’s not the ring, but what it symbolizes.

  26. My engagement ring was over $3,000. I was a brat about getting “the specific brand”. But he chose the style on his own. I had no idea he planned on spending that much cause there was lower ones at the store. Married over 15+ yrs it’s still sparkly AF. I believe my wedding ring was a $350. I did chose from a simple shop on that one.

  27. i got a very cheap ring, and i love it so much. it was on sale on etsy so i got it for less than $300 and that was including shipping from australia. i catch myself staring at it everyday at work when the lights catch the opal i got

  28. I love this. We took from my savings to buy a ring from a pawn shop (sweet understated vintage 900.00 ring) my husband to be had just finished grad school and told me we could pick out any ring I wanted on our five year anniversary. Fast forward five years later I didn’t even remember this and I’m not a fancy person by nature and my ring didn’t bother me. That anniversary morning he took me shopping and insisted I get what I wanted – we were in a position where he could afford whatever I chose so I accepted his offer and ended up with another gorgeous vintage ring much more my style, it was never about the ring for me but I did love that he remembered his promise.

  29. misread the post – good on you for not falling for the BS. my husband and i are currently wearing silicone rings for comfort and since we both frequently split wood. they’re awesome!

  30. I have a moissanite that we bought as a solitaire necklace. Removed the stone and had it placed in a setting that I picked out at the jeweler. I love it and have no regrets about not spending less than $2k.

  31. I got my wedding band at a pawn shop for about $150. Those are great places to go check out if you’re not picky

  32. i was going to say “hey that’s a nice looking ring,” but after reading the blurb, i think you already know that

  33. We bought 2 engagement rings and two wedding rings for under $600. All real gold and gems, obvi not diamond though. Amount of $$$ spent doesn’t matter

  34. Pppppffffft a rock is a rock, wherever it formed; in a diamond mine filled will child death, or in a laboratory under controlled conditions. They’re all rocks! And the lab grown ones aren’t covered in an invisible victims blood.

  35. Yeah you did the right thing saving for a house instead. When I went ring shopping I chose this one right that I currently have… a couple months ago my husband told me he just finished paying the ring off ( it took him about 7 months) THE EFFING RING WAS $16,000!!!!!!!! Had I known that I would’ve chosen something else.

  36. My sister “traded up” with her wedding ring set, years after her wedding and made a big deal about it. I’ve never said anything to her about it…it’s her life and marriage and not my business. But I know that I could never do that. My husband scrimped and saved for 2 years to afford my engagement ring. Then he went to my grandfather to ask for help choosing the best jeweler to use to make the purchase. That was kind of a big deal in our family. So my engagement ring isn’t huge in size, but its value is priceless to me because of what it represents. I wouldn’t trade my ring for ANY reason. It’s the sentiment behind the ring that is the true treasure.

  38. The amount people spend on rings and weddings is insane and irresponsible to me. I think you did the right thing by focusing on getting a house instead.

  44. Im not even wearing my wedding ring ha. My finger keeps swelling and going back down.

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