I have a pretty wide-ranging sense of humor. Irony, sarcasm, malapropism, hyperbole, so on and so forth. *But* somehow-ever since I was a teenager-when I try to “play along” to let a joke-teller know I’m “in” on it, they usually do one of the following: 1) get a little defensive, drop the joke and say “I was just kidding!” or 2) don’t understand that I’m joking *with* them, instead assuming that I’m actually stupid.
I’m in my late 20s and this is starting to bother me. I’m genuinely not sure if I *shouldn’t* be playing along with a joke, or if it’s bad luck with meeting people on the same humor wavelength. I try to make it clear that I’m being silly by smiling, gesturing, maybe speaking in a certain tone, yet people rarely realize I’m only trying to banter. This happens online too, if that matters.
Is it better to just chuckle at a sarcastic/tongue in cheek joke and move on? Or something else?
4 comments
If you don’t know the person well, just laugh in recognition. The more you get to know each other, the less that kind of miscommunication will tend to happen as you experiment with different responses and counter-jokes. Awkwardness will happen when they don’t get it, but just power through it and it can get better
I suppose it will depend on you as a person and what you’re trying to put out there for other people, but my go-to is “same.” Usually gets a laugh even if it’s obviously -not- the case, like I dunno, if someone was being self deprecating about having red hair and I obviously didn’t have red hair. Maybe worth trying out!
I don’t have advice because I suffer from the very same thing, I just want to come here and scream I FEEL SEEN!!! I usually have good advice to this sub and feel like I can navigate social interactions well, but this one is still my Achilles heel.
I have tried so many things to make it clear that I’m joining the joke, tried different tones, smiling, laughing while I say, different facial movements and so on. Nothing helps.
Looking back I thought MAYBE because I tend to be a reserved/serious person (in the sense that I’m 1) introverted, 2) I don’t crack the obvious hysterical jokes, but more of witty comments), people just don’t expect that my words won’t mean what I say? I think they tend to expect that I’m simply serious hence they read my joke as a real literal comment instead of the obvious punchline I thought I was delivering.
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