I 36f and my bf 46m haven’t had intercourse or much of anything in over 3 years maybe 4 who knows. So back story my bf has had some health problems which does affect his ability and want to have sex. Also, in the beginning, I was still healing from an abusive relationship and really didn’t have the urge to have sex. At the beginning of my current relationship, it actually helped us of to find other ways to handle things and communicate. We would spend time together and talk, but over the last few years, we have just grown so distant and my sexual appetite has increased and my interest also. I want to try things and experience new things. I have tried time and time again to talk him to him, but he shuts down and shuts me out. I think about sex all the damn time. I handle my “business” fine on my own lol but that only touches like 25% of the need I feel. I really feel like it is also starting to affect how I feel about myself. I don’t feel sexy or confident. I love him I really do, but I don’t want to look back in my life wishing I could have had more experiences. Am I wrong to want more?
1 comment
There is a LOT missing from your post that will inform the replies you get here:
1. When you say you were healing from an abusive relationship at first – have you healed now, or is there still trauma?
2. Does your bf know about your trauma? If so, he is probably holding back so as not to put pressure on you to have sex – especially if being forced to have sex was part of the trauma of your previous relationship.
3. When you say your sexual appetite has increased now, have you told him this? Does he KNOW that now you are wanting to have sex with him?
It seems like, despite being together as long as you have, that your communication skills need a LOT of work as both of you seem to be trying to think for the other – again, unless you’ve left out far more from your post than you should have, so if this is all moot, perhaps you should update the post.
You two could benefit from some couples counselling – you two need to learn to properly communicate with each other.