People always flake whenever I invite them to anything, after saying they would be down to hang out . And I myself am never invited to anything, what am I doing wrong?

7 comments

1. Never invite those people who decline once an invitation. Don’t give importance to people like them, if you give too much importance you would end up losing your value. ALL THE BEST

2. Ditch inconsiderate assholes asap. Eff them.

3. Where you be inviting them?

4. Did you try planning something ahead? I always say no to last minute or spur the moment plans because it stresses me out being on the spot like that.

5. I have recently noticed that I’m in the same situation as you. My uni would do these events where ppl can gather and have fun or meet new people.

   I try to invite people from my class and give them a heads up on the event/s a week or a couple of days before it (and much like you, I get mixed responses where some say they’re down to join while other say they’ll think about it), but no one keeps their side of the deal or show any sort of interest in the end. If someone does attend, they never really share that information with the rest of the class and go out with some other ppl (outside of our class). They also never bother to invite you.

   I wanted (and kinda still do) to get better acquainted with my class. However, people on the other end have no intentions of following suit. It’s like I’m putting way too much energy in people who don’t really deserve it.

6. You’re making them a priority while they think of you as an option. They’re not your people.

7. Maybe your friends aren’t interested in the same activities as you, in which case, make new friends. Stop inviting flakers, they aren’t worth your energy. I’ve also observed that inviting friends individually to a group event rather than in a group chat is better. In group chats, once one person declines, it negatively affects everyone else’s response. They might think “Well if he’s not going…” or “maybe this won’t be fun because this many people have declined”. I also suggest using a website like Partiful where you can keep the guest list secret until they’ve RSVPed so the people going doesn’t affect their decision.