Hello I am new to reddit and not really familiar with the terminology so bare with me. Something I (18 f) been thinking and struggling with is how to talk to older people and kids. It is safe to say that I already am a very socially awkward person, but I find it to be worse with kids and older adults for some reason. I never know what quite to say to them and Ive noticed other people my age do really well at getting older people/ kids to like them. I think maybe Im just socially inept and off putting and their is something wrong with me. help.
3 comments
Kids are trying to be admirable and bleeding edge trendy, and they aren’t. What they are is annoying and rude.
With older people you can always ask what business they’re in; what they do for a living. Ask about their hobbies. Be polite and listen quietly, and don’t allow your phone to interrupt. Also, should someone of your peer group interrupt you during the conversation, brush them off and stay focused on the person you’re talking to. They’ll be impressed.
The key to talking with kids is to ask them for help understanding things.
I volunteer at a middle school and whenever I meet a kid I don’t know, I ask them general stuff like “What electives does this school offer?” and “Does your school split up lunch periods by grade?”
I find that starting off with very general questions about things they’re more expert in than I am helps us get off on an even footing. From there, they might volunteer information that I can naturally ask about. E.g., “We have music and art electives, and I’m in the band.” –> “Oh, what instrument do you play?”
A lot of adults make the mistake of asking kids very direct questions about themselves like “What’s your favorite subject?” etc. But as a kid, it can be uncomfortable to be questioned by a stranger about personal preferences like that. The trick is really to ease them into conversations by sticking to very “safe” topics first. Hope that helps 🙂
im almost exactly the same way! im also 18 and work in retail at a place that’s generally mostly geared towards older/elderly people and I feel like I’m most confident speaking to them. it might be because I have lived with my grandma my whole life lol but I’m super awkward talking to people my age all the way through their 40s. i wish i knew why and i wish i could fix it