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I ended up in an abusive relationship. I sensed it right away in the beginning when I still had my wits about me. She asked to crash at my place for a few weeks, I said sure. A few weeks turned to months. At dinner I told her she needed to find her own place and that we were moving too fast for her to permanently move in with me.
I still wanted to be with her at the time, just not live together, which was pretty reasonable considering I met her just a few months ago. She made a big scene in the restaurant and guilt tripped me. Instead of taking that as a sign to kick her ass out, I let her stay. Then I let her manipulate me like she just had for a couple years.
I really should’ve told her to pack her shit that night.
I regret any time I didn’t stand up for myself. Thankfully I out grew such shortcomings. Truth be told, I always found it easier to stand strong for others when appropriate.
Let’s be clear though, you don’t stand up for somebody who is clearly wrong, no matter what the relationship. You are doing them a disservice if you shield them from the consequences of their actions.
If I stand up for myself I feel bad. If I *don’t* stand up for myself I feel bad.
But I have never regretted standing up for someone else.
all of ’em