I’m a 35 year old adult so it’s not like I’m a kid or anything. It was my BIL who did it and my sister doesn’t really have my back at all. She believes it happened as he didn’t even deny it but she has kids with him so she wants an easy divorce. My mom knows but I haven’t told my dad. He’s old, and he’s weak because he’s been through chemo too many times to count in the past decade and the thought of telling him and hurting him in this way breaks my heart. I’m also worried he might have a heart attack from getting so mad.
On the flip side, I keep being told he would want to know and that I have to tell him. I heard POS BIL talking to him on the phone earlier as if he hasn’t done anything!! He’s trying to maintain a relationship with my dad and I can’t have that. I already told him he’s not to answer his phone calls anymore but I haven’t told him why.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
13 comments
Why didn’t you tell the police?
You can also tell who you want. So tell your dad if it brings you peace.
Tell your dad, your mum, the police and maybe a cat if one is available.
I’m a dad. I would want to know.
Call and report him to the police asap.
Fu*k anyone’s feelings as it relates to this assault. You didn’t ask for this nor are you breaking up the family. The pos BIL did/ is! Now I’m ticked off at him 😡
I would definitely like to know I know it wouldn’t be the right thing to take matters to my own hand but ain’t nobody sensually assaulting my daughter I have a son but still if I go have a daughter in the future
Maybe speak with his doctor’s? Tell them you have something potentially devastating to tell him and your concerned about the health ramifications. If he raped you he doesn’t deserve to be free or be around the kids and your family. I would also consider therapy individual for sure and family if parties are willing. Pretty much speak to professionals.
I’m a dad and absolutely tell him.
YES!
If your mom knows, there’s a good chance dad knows. But since it’s third-party, he might not see it as his right to bring it up. Especially if it’s been a long time ago. He might assume you’ve made peace with it.
If you haven’t, definitely let him know. It’s okay.
If your gonna tell your dad not to talk to him then yes tell him how are you not gonna tell him the reason why
care to describe what kind of sexual assault take place?
I would say tell him. I have no idea how, but tell him. I know it will break his heart but to be open like that with your father is great for both you and him, despite the horrible circumstances. I think if I was a father I’d want to know, and I know my parents would want to know too. It will also help to have someone else on your side.
**but she has kids with him so she wants an easy divorce**
so she is currently in the process of divorcing , maybe she can ask dad not to speak to him anymore
as long as the rest of your family is behind you