I (25f) have been seeing my fwb (24m) for 4/5 months now, he occasionally puts a finger in my arse while doing other things but he’s suggested that he’d like to try anal. However, the thought of it makes me nervous, as it will probably be a bit messy in there.
I’ve done anal before with my ex partner but it took me at least a couple of years to be comfortable enough to do it with him. I really want to try it with my fwb as I know we’d both enjoy it but I don’t know how to get over my fear of doing it with someone new.
How do I get over this please? & also any tips to prepare for it? Thanks in advance
4 comments
Are you nervous bc he’s a newish partner or bc of the messiness associated with anal sex?
If it’s the messiness, you should douche!! Just google it. If you douche beforehand it won’t be messy at all!
If it’s bc you two are new, you guys should talk about your boundaries. Like what you’re used to, what you’re expecting, what you like, etc. I also think it’s a good idea to come up with a safe word, so if either of you are super uncomfortable there’s a guaranteed “stop” phrase. Even if its never used, just having that safety net in the back of your mind can make you less nervous.
Do you want to have this experience with someone with no emotional connection? What’s left after that? Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.
It’s been “messy” a couple times for me in the past and you know what? We actually kinda liked it… Now I don’t mean messy messy, just a little bit.
Ask that during he reassure u. I myself have problems with it as I was sexually assaulted with it and I used to zone out thinking about what they had done so if u trust them try it and talk to them