For the past year I’d say, I’ve (30m) started to have a hard time getting hard, particularly for the second round of sex. I used to just receive a blowjob, cum, eat the girl out – get hard by the time she cums if not earlier and be ready for sex and have 0 chance of losing that hard on once it appears.
Now I feel like to do a second round, I need to feel really desired by the person and I need them to get a bit grabby and aggressive. I need them to stimulate my neck, nipples, talk dirty and stimulate my dick or else it won’t get hard. And if I do get hard, in that second round it’s been difficult staying hard. And the less I’m into the person, the harder it is to have that second hard-on. It used to just not matter. The last time I had sex, for the first time, I just didn’t even cum during the second round. My dick just peaced out lol
My medical tests are fine. I recently saw my doctor. I work out and I’m in good shape.
And aside from sex, my interest in sex is just significantly reduced. I don’t care much to look at porn and if I do, it feels forced out of boredom and I could just move on. Masturbating feels forced. I don’t really even want to see my fwb to fuck. I’ve also lost interest in eating out women.
I’ve got sex toys and as I’m bi, I have things for all my gender interests and I’ve not really been that into any of them.
A few things that I thing could be playing a strong role here
1. My stimulant med which affects my blood flow a bit and interest in mentally stimulating stuff like gaming, social media, sex. I’ve been on it for months though and these sexual changes are mostly this month.
2. I used my fwb’s vibrator on me while she was using it on her and holy fuck – that felt good enough that I didn’t really want to or care to fuck her after, and I didn’t even orgasm from the vibrator at all. I still fucked her after though because she wanted it lol. This isn’t the first time a vibrator just satisfied me in ways a person couldn’t. It happened once before with my own vibrator which is weaker and it honestly scared me off using it again.
3. I’m getting more selective with people and there’s way more things that turn me off now than there used to.
4. I’m a switch and I feel like I might be going into a bit more of a submissive mode after going full dominant recently with someone. But I’m also, just not that interested ? Also a bit scared and also pretty disappointed as I’ve been looking for someone to Dom me for a while and I’ve not liked anyone enough or trusted them enough to go out with them, let alone have their way with me.
It’s been feeling weird having my body respond in one way while my mind wants something else. Like me wanting to go for that second round but my dick putting up an out of business sign… Like wtf. I’m only 30 😢😂 and also, just being so much more to get turned on. I don’t get it. I’m not addicted to porn. I just want my dick to turn on when I want it to. I want my body to feel horny again and be super interested in sex again lol.
So… Thoughts? Thoughts particularly from people that can relate would be greatly appreciated.