I met the most amazing girl at college orientation and we have hit it off. we went on several dates and became close. We hold hands, kiss in public, she comes over on the weekends, and has even met my parents. We admitted we both have feeling for each other however when I asked her out she said she needs time as she recently got out of a long term relationship before I met her (6 years). She wants to “learn more about herself and learn what its like to not depend on someone else”. This cut very deep and has really been messing with my heart as I now care very deeply for her. We sort of have this friends with benefits things and we are learning more about each other but she refuses to make me any promises and commit. I understand her wanting to be independent after such a long relationship however i feel like she is playing with my heart. She admitted she is indecisive and doesn’t know what she wants. IS IT REALLY POSSIBLKE TO FEEL BOTH OF THESE WAYS AT ONCE OR IS IT A SIGHN THAT HER FEELINGS MUST NOT BE VERYT STRONG TOWZARDS ME? I haven’t told her yet but I love her and I believe she is definitely worth the wait. I don’t fall in love easily and would choose her out of 1000000 people, it is just very painful for me. When we are together nothing else matter however she never texts first and I feel like if I stopped messaging her it wouldn’t mean anything to her đ As we have been sleeping together I want to take a step back and go slower. I asked her the other day to not sleep with other people at least and she said “if we keep having sex I wont have sex with other people”. Which I guess is fair but its puts me in this terrible situation where she either plays with my heart or sleeps with other people. This ultimatum on top of it leaves me so confused and I don’t know what to do. As part of her wants to be independent it makes our ‘relationship’ feel one sided and I feel like I’m only digging myself a deeper grave. Any advice helps, how should one go about this, has anyone experienced anything similar.
1 comment
I think it is very normal for a person to be hesitant towards getting into serious relationships in the situation she is in. I myself just got out of a 5-year relationship, and to me it is VERY important to take the time to be independent, no matter if I find someone I truly like.
I get the feeling of truly wanting to be with someone on that raw emotional level with commitment, but I would rather recommend not expecting much more. Think of it as the universe wanted you to meet at least temporarily for a beautiful and profound experience.
It might develop into something else, but you canât expect that – I think expecting that will leave a strain on the easy-flowing relationship you already have.
In the end, with the right mindset and understanding of oneself – it will only be enriching to the memories of your life, even if it turns out to be temporary and confusing.
(Keep in mind, all opinions online are only based on surface-level understanding and self-inserts).