Hey I’m 24 years old (f). I’ve been with a few guys and this has always come up. I’m very tight and it can make sex feel embarrassing or uncomfortable. I was with a guy who was huge before and it was just painful. Now I’m with a really good guy and he’s a pretty great size and it’s great when we get going or have other substance to help. I really want to connect physically with him but this always makes it awkward. He has loads more experience then me so he’s very caring and helpful about it all.
Sober it takes too long to go in, even with foreplay. I use toys and they do nothing to help loosen things up. It can uncomfortable for him or so tight he cuts way to fast and it annoys him. Things can be all loose but the minute it comes time to have sex it’s like it just closes the door on him.
Is there anything at home I can do to help? Work outs or yoga of some type. Doctors are no help they just say I have a lower sex drive and it’s expected with me.
I’m in birthcontrol and it can make it even worse. It’s the only birth control that works, if I take anything else I can get my period twice a month some times. Just runs in the family.
Could it also be a trauma response built into from past experience that weren’t so great?