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24 hours of sleep
The Baby I’ve been creating for 40 weeks
I thought sleep, but it turned out to be a blood transfusion…
Everything I wasn’t allowed to eat during pregnancy
A shower (she pooped right over me the 2 secs after she was born)
A healthy baby and the opportunity for some sleep. When my son was born I’d already been up for 24h, by the time I got to sleep for an hour it’d been like 40h. The exhaustion was unreal.
A jimmy johns sanwhich.
1. My baby healthy, safe and well
2. A shower and change into comfy clothes
3. The opportunity to sleep
The staff brought me a brew and some toast. Didn’t think it was anything special until I got stuck in and no brew or toast has ever tasted so good!
Food
food – -with both of my kids I was starving hungry
A massive sandwich and a cup of tea
A babysitter. Joking of course.
Death.
Pizza and champagne
50 million dollars
Best things I bought myself after having a baby – an electric blanket because I was cold when I came back to bed after feeds through the night. A kindle/ereader so I had something to do while feeding and could read in the dark.
Food. I was asking for it on my way out of the OR.
All the stuff I couldn’t consume during pregnancy: sushi, energy drinks
Time alone with my baby.
Quiet time for me and my kid. I don‘t wanna deal with people then
A huge bunch of flowers from my partner and a pack of ice for my vagina.
Food. As soon as I got back to my room I ate, drank, showered, washed my hair, changed clothes. This of course after golden hours, I already breastfed my daughter for two hours, so she was just quietly sleeping. I could have eaten during labor, but I didn’t feel like it so I was hungry.
Right after birth still in the birthing rm I asked for food and a shower. (I think I got chicken ceaser salad). When my aunt came to visit in the hospital following that (we were in for a while) she asked what she could bring ME I thought about it and asked for a can of coke. It was such a treat after weeks of hospital food.
Some privacy and a quiet space with the baby and a loved one just to compute it all. Quite the polar opposite to the experience I had!
A medal
Alone time with my partner and baby with a really good meal like a big sandwich and milkshake. Then i would want a long ass nap.
No visitors please. I had way too many visitors after my first baby so for my second, we didn’t tell literally anyone he was born until after we both got a nap in. We had way less visitors overall and it was much better.
If you’re looking for an actual gift for a new mom, a gift card for house cleaning or a massage/spa day for some self care would be amazing gifts that I wish I had received.
Also, if it’s from my partner, a gesture to recognize my hard work and suffering during labor would have been soooo appreciated. Even flowers would be nice. Just something to acknowledge that I risked my life bringing our baby into the world. I developed ptsd from my first birth, and I hemorrhaged after my second birth, so giving birth was a huge and terrifying ordeal for me.
Someone telling me it was only a nightmare.
FOOD.
Fun story. My twin brother gave me two gifts. One was “a visit from the cleaning fairy,” he cleaned the house top to bottom.
The other was an entire freezer full of burritos. Whenever I was hungry, I could grab a burrito, microwave it for a couple minutes, and have good, home-made food.
I still cry when I think of those burritos. They made that first month after my son’s birth so much easier.
Space and a break. I had a c section after 36 hours of labor, and was expected to do all the childcare asap. Thankfully I was unconscious due to medical trauma for 12 hours. My husband was the primary parent during that time. When I woke up the nurses expected me to do 100% of everything before I had a chance to eat, drink or pee. My husband put his foot down and told them to back off. They kept moving the bassinet away from my husband’s side of the room to mine. They expected me to stand and walk every time our daughter cried. My husband lost his shit on the staff. He asked them how I was expected to recover from major surgery, hemmoraghing and medical trauma if they wouldn’t allow me to rest. How was he expected to be a father if they kept interfering.
Best piece of advice is to leave the hospital as soon as you medically can. If baby is in NICU, as ours was, I still advise going home to sleep. Medical staff legitimately do not care how bad a shape the mom is in. They would rather watch her suffer needlessly than allow her a respite or for the father to help. I was forced to walk across the hospital ward to the NICU. I was retaining so much fluid that it pooled in my legs when I was standing or sitting. I lost the ability to move my knees after 30 mins sitting in the NICU. When I had to leave to lay down the nurses rolled their eyes and made me feel like I was the worst mother in the world. There was no compassion for me or my pain both while in labor or recovery.