For some reason I am not bad at meeting/ getting to know people (unless like cold call social media DM) but for some reason I feel that I can’t maintain a convo or have a follow up conversation with a person.
For example I had an internship at a bank I was a bit energetic also wanting to have a good look to maybe work there I got to know like EVERYONE I reached a point where I was getting employees to meet each other who’ve never met talking to almost everyone but all of it was based off of like short 2-3 minute convos (smoke breaks) but for some reason I remember one of the first people I met who I used to see a lot in the end I would see them and have nothing to say nothing to build a conversation nothing to I guess bridge the gap of “how are you doing” and “how’s work” and now looking at it even friends I’ve known for a long time where we will go out and like 75% be on our phones yet I look at other people/ tables there sitting around and are having the time of their lives. I feel that a part of this made me a bit more introverted when in reality I love going out and having good times with people but I feel like I can’t even hold up a text conversation… I look at people for example who could cold dm a girl who’s not interested and somehow mange a solid convo and end up building a relationship yet I at times know people want to talk to me but avoid it for the later awkwardness that will happen in the convocation…
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A majority of youth is like this nowadays, no one wants to be weird and too upfront. I usually approach new groups as the listener and slowly open up as I learn more about my targets. You should become a listener and act like you care more about the target’s life. For example, you could meet someone and ask for their name and position. Then after they tell you their name, start using it in the next follow up convo. After you introduce yourselves, you can go ahead and ask about their weekend. They might mention their hobbies (which is very good) or some activities with family etc. Take note of all these details like its for a test.
If they mention they watched a basketball game and you don’t really watch basketball, you can tell them that and ask them who their favorite players are. They tell you their favorite players and you can then ask why they like them so much.
If they mention they went to the mall to get a gift for their sister’s bday, you can ask what gift, why she would like this type of gift, etc.
The idea is to continue to kind of interview them until they do the same to you. The next time you see them, use their name, and follow up on previous conversation. For example, “Hey David, how’d your sister like the gift you got her?” The idea is to basically become invested in their life and use it to start conversations, because everyone usually likes to talk about themselves. Eventually they will open up more to you and should begin to reciprocate this with you.