I always wonder what someone thinks about me behind my back and what they may say about me, and sometimes even if someone is nice to me I can’t tell if they’re just being nice to be nice or if they secretly dislike me and are just being polite. It’s especially painful when you notice every subtly of body language, tone, how little or how much they say to me, etc. thoughts???
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Is there a particular person you’re referring to? I mean, is this like a crush or some passing acquaintance?
You should not care about that. I have experience where people get nice to me and I thought they are genuine but they really are ‘just being nice’ not because they like you. So like other people just be nice and stop caring. It will give you anxiety.
There’s a book called Platonic by Marisa G. Franco. It’s about making and keeping friendships as an adult. One of the key points she writes about is to just assume that people like you. Anxiety will spin all kinds of terrible stories for you if you let it. It takes constant effort, but you have to practice ignoring that anxiety voice. Give it a name. Maybe you’ll call it Mabel, I don’t know. When you start hearing all those pesky doubts and negative assumptions, just tell it “Not today, Mabel.”
At the end of the day, what does it matter if they like you or not? What can you actually do about it? Nothing. So don’t let it consume you. Move on with your time, doing things you want to do. If people are interested in the things you do, they’ll ask about them.
Take things at face value.
Otherwise you’ll be miserable. For the most part people don’t think about is at all when we’re not around.