I can handle small talk idk how to make a deeper connection in conversation, what are people looking for in non small talk conversation? Are these conversations life experiences? How do you break the ice to get into these conversations and connect with people. I’m 40 and don’t have many friends if at all and I’m not certain I’ve had any talks with people that felt mutually fulfilling or engaging.
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I don’t think most people you don’t know super well would respond well to very deep talk. That’s something that often requires trust. That doesn’t mean that there’s not lots of talk in between small talk and big deep talk.
A good test is to just open up a tiny bit with a little vulnerability and see how they react. Some people will quickly avoid the topic and want to stick to small talk, some will be genuinely interested in what you’re saying and others will start opening up themselves.
Just ask questions and see how they respond. If they give you short, 1-3 word answers then maybe they’re not looking for conversation. People LOVE talking about themselves
Try and ask open ended questions as opposed to yes/no.
Or you can start with a compliment, like “I like your shirt? Where’d you get it?”
Make sure you learn their name. This is a common mistake for new friends and first dates lol. Use their name in a sentence, or you could say “I’ll see you later <name>!”
Some final tips- eye contact, smile, talk slowly to avoid stuttering/word confusion, make yourself an interesting person by having hobbies (just generally things to talk about)